[This series of posts on “the problem of work” supports a new program called the Existential Wellness Coach Certificate Program that launches February, 2024. Part of the program are 12 FREE webinars that you can attend in March, April and May of 2024. To learn more about the program, please visit here. For an early bird special price on the program, please visit here. To learn more about the webinars and to register, please visit here.]

There are many senses of “work.” One is the profession we chose. Another is the chore facing us. We are obliged to deal with work in the “big” sense, in the sense of our professional choices. But we are also obliged to deal with work in the “small” sense, in the sense of the thing that we are doing next, whether that’s cleaning up a spill, struggling with the song we’re writing, or the “work” of having a hard conversation with a loved one.

Each of these “small” tasks provide us with the opportunity to feel anxiety, to procrastinate, to not get on with it. By not doing that bit of work, and by not doing the next bit of work, we can spend a lifetime not getting our work done. We end up rather passive, unproductive, and not feeling very proud of the effort we made at living intentionally.

One tactic that can help with this challenge—and one that you can easily teach to clients—is to make use of the “centering” strategy I introduced in our week on “helping clients center.” It’s the strategy of dropping a thought into a breath (creating incantations) that work as calmness charms and that remind you what your work “is” and that you are intending to get that work done “now.”

The incantation I’m referring to is “I am doing my work.”

Each time you use it, you would insert a new phrase that names some work that you hope to accomplish. There is great centering power in mindfully naming your work, as, by naming it, you at once fortify your intentions and create a simple plan. Breathing-and-thinking “(I am cleaning) (the closet),” “(I am writing) (my novel),” or (“I am paying” “the bills”) has a calming effect, even as it calls you to action.

The work you name can be the work you are about to undertake, like practicing your instrument or cleaning out the garage. You can also use this incantation to announce an intention, for instance that you will write after work (“I am writing after work”) or that you will clean out the closet as soon as you get home from the supermarket (“I am cleaning when I get home”). You can also use it to work on a quality that you want to manifest, like courage or patience, or a state that you want to enter, like a calm, enthusiastic, or receptive state. For example, you might use “(I am waiting) (patiently)” at the dentist’s office and “(I feel open) (and receptive)” upon entering a gallery of avant-garde paintings.

This incantation can be used in an infinite variety of situations and possesses great flexibility. You might name your work in any of the following ways and in countless others as well:

(I am returning) (to my business plan)

(I am) (a real artist)

(I am working) (on my courage)

(Today) (I am calm)

(I accept myself) (completely)

(I will start) (my marketing)

(I am making) (that phone call)

(I am ready) (for that conversation)

(I will work harder) (than ever)

(I surrender) (to what is emerging)

You will get better results the more accurately and appropriately you name your work. For example, if you name work that you can’t really support, like paying bills when you know you’re overdrawn, the outcome will not be a centered state. A certain honesty and awareness is needed in order for this incantation to prove of use. You want to name your work truthfully, and you also want to name it with clarity and exactness.

Let’s say that you intend to make a difficult phone call to your mother, one in which you mean to tell her that she can’t come to visit you over the holidays. That’s the work you plan to name. The obvious phrase to incorporate is “I am calling my mother” or maybe “I am making that difficult phone call.”  However, your real work might be to tell your mother what you’re feeling or, conversely, to carefully hide what you’re feeling. Or your work might be to stay calm as you speak to your mother or to stay strong in the face of her accusations and complaints. Therefore, any one of the following phrases might be the one you actually choose to use:

“(I will speak) (my truth)”

— or —

“(I will stay) (very calm)”

— or —

“(I won’t reveal) (very much)”

— or —

“(I will stay) (strong)”

Each of these phrases refers to the same task, calling your mother, but each puts you in a different frame of mind and relates to a different, particular intention.

If the work you name is something impossible to do or even just something implausible, you likely won’t center and you likely won’t get your work done. If you say to yourself (“I’m overhauling the garden” “in an afternoon”), you’re more likely to run from the house than get out your gardening gloves. If, instead, you set aside a few hours and say (“I am working) (in the garden”), you will likely work calmly and productively.

The process of consciously naming your work may lead you to fruitful self-exploration. You may find that you don’t know what your work is, that you have so much work that you don’t know where to start, or that you don’t feel equal to any of your tasks and therefore don’t want to name anything and ‘pin yourself down.’  So, you can see how this centering technique can provoke some anxiety!  That’s all right: if these have been problems for you, you’ve been living with plenty of anxiety for a long time already. Trust that by facing your anxiety now and by learning to name and do your work, relief and calm will follow.

Remember that your clients are facing “big” work questions, like the very meaningfulness of the profession they’ve chosen, and “small” work questions, like tackling the next meeting, the next email, or the next household chore. The incantation “I am doing my work” can help with both!

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