The path from dreams to success does exist. May you have the vision to find it, the courage to get on to it, and the perseverance to follow it. — Kalpana Chawla
My life looked pretty good about 10 years ago. At least from the outside, it looked good. I was practicing law at a small law firm, owned a house and was thinking of starting a family with the woman I had married.
My life was busy with my career, marriage, and social life. On the outside, everything seemed like it was going like it was supposed to but if you asked me what I truly wanted in life, I would have told you that I wanted to live a simple, spiritual, and creative life.
If anyone asked, I would have said that I had all these book ideas that I wanted to write and wanted to be an author and speaker. I would want to inspire people and help motivate them in their lives.
Yet I wasn’t writing or speaking. I thought that “one day”, after I became successful, then I would start doing what I wanted. One day after I had enough money and time, I would share my message with others, live my purpose, and live the kind of life that I wanted.
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The life you’re living vs. the life you want
If you ask most people what their dreams are, they’ll speak of things they would like to do with their lives. They’ll speak of their highest hopes and aspirations. They’ll tell you what they would really like to do if money was no object and they could pursue their heart’s desires.
While they have a clear idea of what their dreams are, if you ask them what they are doing with their everyday lives to pursue those dreams, they’ll tell you that they are trying to move up in their career, move to a bigger house or pursue some other disconnected goal in their life.
The irony is that it will take them most of their life to get to the life they want to live because they are spending all their time living a life that they don’t recognize today. There’s a big disconnect between the lives people want some day and the lives they are living today.
The simple reason that people aren’t living they life they want today is that they are too busy living the life they don’t. They are living the default life that developed out of circumstance, habit, or based on the lives of people around them.
Society has pretty much created a game plan for most of us to follow and it may not necessarily match with what you want in life. You may be spending all of your time in life trying to pursue “success” by societal standards without doing what you want.
You continue to delay the life that you want to live by procrastinating on the life you don’t. Your pursue the next thing that society wants for you without stepping back and considering what it is you want. You fill your life with the things you’re supposed to have instead of the live you want to have.
Anyone can turn the life they are living around so they can live their life in alignment with the life they want. You can work towards the life you desire instead of living someone else’s life. You can pursue a path that will help you reach the destination you want.
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In order to move towards the life you want, you need 3 things in your life.
Nearly a decade later, the marriage, the house, and my career are all in my distant memory. I moved to Asia a couple of years ago and have pursued my dreams of being a writer and author. I live a simpler and more creative life, living more in alignment with the life that I want to live. Instead of waiting to live the life that I want to live for some time down the road, I am pursuing the life that I want to live today.
Here are the 3 things you need in your life today to live the life that you want.
1. The clarity to know where you’re going
You’re not going to get to the place that you want to go without knowing where it is that you want to go. To figure this out, you have to ask yourself what you want your future will look like. What do you want your every day to look like? What do you want your typical day to look like? What would it look like if you were living a meaningful life? What would it look like if you lived a life that was aligned with your values? You need to ask yourself the big questions and be able to listen to the answers. You need to be able to visualize the life that you want for yourself and see what’s possible.
2. The honesty to admit what you want
It’s not going to be easy to admit to yourself what you want because if you choose a life of meaning and purpose for you, you’re going to start doing things much different than most people. If you’re not going to follow the traditional career path or financial path, your life will be different. You may want an entirely different life than the one you’re living but to admit that is hard. You’ll be going against society’s wishes and your family’s wishes. You’ll likely be going against everything that you have ever known about what to do with your life. Getting clear about where you want to go requires you to get honest with yourself and accepting what you know to be true.
3. The courage to start pursuing the life you desire
Once you know the place you want to go to, are you willing to make the hard choices to get there? Are you willing to take the courageous actions that are to counter society’s prescription for a good life? Are you willing to downsize your life? Are you willing to move to a cheaper part of town or part of the country? Are you willing to start over? Are you willing to give up luxury? Are you willing to live differently? You need the courage to remind yourself that the life you’re pursuing is different than what everyone else is pursuing and do it anyway. You have to overcome the fears of your path and take many steps of courageous action to get there.
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Take the path that most people aren’t willing to take
The path to the life that you want is possible but you have to be willing to do what most people aren’t. You have to be willing to ask yourself what is it you want in life, be honest with yourself, and then find the courage to pursue the life that will help you get to the destination of your choice.
Living the life you want means living a life of intention and choosing. You may have to travel a path with less guidance and certainty so you can get to a fulfilling and meaningful life.
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This post was previously published on Medium.
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Photo credit: Arlington Research on Unsplash
I simply do not believe what you write .Your writing is based on an ideal but not on the reality of one’s actual life.Tell your ideas to an Indian beggar ….A Russian political prisoner ….A woman with children .Life is hard and full of anguish .Simply living the life one imagines means what ? It may simply be a fantasy …one regretted once actualized. I think your notion is simplistic and dangerously seductive but lacking in genuine meaning or truth .How did you get to Asia ? Walk ? Money and education play a huge factor in your middle class… Read more »