How many times have you let the inner critic inside of you stop you from doing what you love, chasing your dream, or making a life-changing decision?
That feeling of “not being good enough” or “not being worthy”, makes you second-guess your thoughts and feelings.
It prevents you from having fulfilling, enriching experiences.
It kills your motivation to go after your goals, holding you back from creating the life that you want.
Without any doubt, you want to get rid of that type of self-talk.
Low self-worth is deeply grounded in your subconscious identity
Feeling “not good enough” is a common disease of our age.
It’s an irrational belief that many hold about themselves, and that derives from their childhood experiences.
If, in your childhood:
- you were treated like you were worthless
- you were blamed for not being/doing enough
- you were compared to others
- you were made feel helpless and incompetent
- you will now have a low opinion of yourself.
You will have a hard time believing in yourself, in your abilities, and in your value.
This programming is like a virus, that affects every aspect of your adult life — even though you might not realize it.
Whenever you catch yourself thinking or acting in ways that confirm the assumption that you are not good enough, pause for a moment and reflect on how that’s just a false belief that was wired into your brain.
It’s not an objective truth.
It doesn’t tell you anything about yourself or the actual circumstances.
It gets in the way of your success in creating a fulfilling, satisfying life and achieving your goals.
And that’s why you have to (and totally can) reframe it.
A science-backed strategy to overcome your fears and go after your dreams
Wouldn’t it be amazing to feel limitless? To feel like you could do anything?
Well, rejoice! Because you can do anything.
The only limits you have in this life are the ones of physics and the ones that you hold in your subconscious mind.
The good news is: you probably don’t dream of anything beyond the principles of physics and you can effectively work on removing the obstacles from your subconscious mind.
So once you’ve agreed that the little voice in your head that makes you feel worthless has to leave, you can start strategizing to prove it wrong.
Go get them, tiger
One of my favorite ways to prove my negative self-talk wrong is by creating a killer plan to go after my dream.
(The dream you thought you were not good enough to achieve, for clarity.)
And one science-backed method to do this is called Woop:
Wish, Outcome, Obstacle, Plan.
It’s easy peasy and requires only 10 minutes of your time, a pen, and paper.
And it’s guaranteed to work (by science).
Here’s how it works.
Step 1 — Define your goal
Think of what you really want to achieve.
Leave aside any expectations that others might have about you and focus on what you really want.
Be clear and specific about what you want.
Example:
I want to get a promotion.
Step 2 — Envision the outcome
How would it look like, to achieve that goal?
How would you know that you’ve achieved it?
How would it feel to have achieved it?
Visualize yourself as having reached that objective, and be very specific with the details.
Example:
I imagine myself walking into my office, feeling proud of myself and excited about my new role. I’m talking to my team and coordinating our work, I’m feeling excited as I walk into the managers’ meeting to present the latest achievements of my team to the board of directors and strategize the next steps with our CEO.
Step 3 — Identify any inner obstacles
Reflect on what is the biggest inner obstacle to reaching your goal.
Why do you think you cannot achieve it?
What story are you telling yourself about yourself and this dream?
Example:
I’m afraid to speak to my boss and ask for a promotion. I’m afraid I’d be rejected and feel like a fool.
Step 4 — Strategize a plan to overcome the obstacle
Think about what you can do to overcome the obstacle.
Can you prove it wrong?
Can you do something about it?
Plan ahead for the chance of it actually coming true, using if/then statements.
Example:
If I’ll have second thoughts about asking for a promotion, then I’ll remind myself of all that I’ve done for my company so far, of my dedication, commitment, and achievements. I’ll also tell myself that my request being turned down doesn’t say anything about me or my worth.
…
Whatever it is that you are telling yourself about you reaching your goal, know that all of the negative self-talk is nothing but thoughts that have been programmed into your mind in your early years of childhood and from all the experiences you had in your life so far.
This is what they are, just thoughts.
You can choose to replace these thoughts with empowering ones, and you can choose to try the WOOP technique to gain the confidence you need to fiercely go after your dreams.
And if you are not quite the old-school journaling type, you can practice this method online, here.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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