When we are young, we often hear the elderly say, “Don’t try to run before you can walk.” Back then, we didn’t think much of it, thinking that running ahead was fine as long as we were moving forward.
But as time goes by, we realize the wisdom in the words of our elders. Every step in life must be taken steadily to lay a solid foundation for the future and avoid constant stumbling along the way.
Living is not about wasting decades of time. Since we have the power of life given by the heavens, we should cherish our lives.
Most of our lives are spent with our partners, so marriage is not something to be taken lightly by anyone.
Although divorce is more acceptable nowadays, when it comes down to it, facing the reality of a failing marriage is never easy.
Emotions can be the most challenging and impactful aspect of a person’s life. In marriage, the biggest fear is making one of three mistakes that could lead to a lifetime of regret.
Marrying for the Sake of Marriage, Choosing the Wrong Person
Most people will go through one or several relationships when they are young. Some are lucky to find their lifelong partner in one go.
However, not every relationship ends successfully. Some may need to go through several failed relationships before finding the right one. Finding a like-minded partner to spend your life with is something worth celebrating.
Some people, due to past emotional trauma or being too focused on their career, miss the ideal age for marriage. When they realize this, they find that most suitable partners around them are already committed.
In many cities, there is a significant population of single men and women of marriageable age. Some manage their lives well and are not anxious, while others succumb to societal pressure.
Those who look forward to life will focus on self-improvement before settling down because if you bloom, the breeze will come. Even without the breeze, you can still live well.
However, some people feel anxious and desperate, no longer seeking love but only marriage.
No matter what choice you make, the fear is rushing into marriage without proper preparation, succumbing to pressure from family and choosing someone who seems acceptable on the surface.
Entering marriage with this mindset is a dreadful mistake. Marriage is not a game, so before making a decision, careful consideration is essential. Even without deep love, the partner’s values must align with your own.
Most people can manage such a marriage. However, marrying just for the sake of it, solely considering external factors, can lead to a disastrous situation if the partner is not what they seem.
Failing to Nurture the Marriage
A marriage without love is not necessarily doomed. If both partners approach life rationally and work together, even without a strong emotional foundation, most families can live peacefully.
Our ancestors have passed down this way of life through generations, continuously reproducing.
However, modern life’s pressures, economic stress, and lack of emotional foundation can lead to marital issues if not addressed properly.
Marriage is not just about love but also about daily necessities, family backgrounds, and potential conflicts.
Life is not easy and rewards those who know how to nurture it.
If you see marriage and having children as obligations or to fit in with society, your marriage will not thrive.
Humans are emotional creatures, and prolonged proximity can develop feelings even without love. Being with someone who is emotionally distant can be terrifying.
Marrying for the sake of marriage is wrong. Failing to nurture the relationship and enhance the bond will only lead to more problems and conflicts.
Being single is not a fault, but neglecting to nurture your marriage is a mistake.
Using marriage as an escape will not solve your problems. If both partners seek refuge in marriage, who will provide shelter?
Living with such a mindset will only lead to more breakdowns.
Seeking Emotional Comfort Outside of Marriage
Some people, when facing marital issues, do not seek solutions through communication and understanding with their partners but instead seek comfort outside the marriage.
This is the most foolish decision married individuals can make because extramarital affairs often worsen the existing marital problems.
Life is already chaotic, and couples should work together to organize these fragments and make life more orderly and harmonious.
If you create chaos instead of order, the emotional gap between you and your partner will widen.
Divorce is a daunting prospect for many. People may weigh the pros and cons of extramarital affairs but, from an adult perspective, it is not a wise choice.
Extramarital affairs can fatally damage a marriage. Even if the affair remains hidden, the emotional distance between spouses will only grow.
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Marriage is not inherently complex, but it’s not exceptionally simple either.
Taking each step carefully, like a child learning to walk, ensures a stable path forward and prevents stumbling.
Just like a game of chess, each move should be considered for its future implications. Even if you lose, it won’t be a total disaster.
Marriage is a lifelong commitment. When you decide to hold hands with someone, you must consider the storms and challenges you may face together.
In marriage, there is no set rule on who should give more or less. It requires the joint effort of both partners to sail towards a happy future.
You may have married just to get married, but if you choose to live together, you must show genuine care and commitment. A lifetime may not be long, but it’s still decades of shared moments.
Do you want the everyday joy of happiness or the indifference and even disgust when facing your partner alone? The choice is yours.
Don’t make a wrong move that could ruin your entire life.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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