Motherhood is loud. Kids screaming loud.
Laundry pile laughing at you loud. Life-is-happening-so-fast-you-feel-like-you’re-sprinting-while-standing-still loud.
And when you’re a mom of twins?
Whew.
Double the noise. Double the chaos. Double the guilt that you’re somehow not doing enough… even though you’re doing everything.
But the loudest thing in motherhood isn’t the kids.
It’s the voice inside your head.
The one that shows up when you’re exhausted.
When someone asks you for “just one more thing.”
When you scroll social media and see moms who look like they’ve got it all together.
That voice? It’s powerful.
And most days, it slips into one of three roles: the victim, the critic, or the coach.
The Victim Voice — “This Is Too Much. I Can’t Do This.”
If you’ve ever sat on the bathroom floor and cried while the kids bang on the door yelling “MOMMY!” — yeah, hi… same.
That’s when the victim voice sneaks in.
“Why does everything fall on me?”
“No one understands how hard this is.”
“I’m drowning and nobody sees it.”
This voice isn’t weak — it’s human. It often shows up when we are stretched thin, overstimulated, and desperately needing support we rarely give ourselves permission to ask for.
But here’s the problem: the victim voice keeps us stuck. It convinces us we have no options. No control. No power. Just survival mode forever.
And mamas — we deserve better than survival.
The Critic Voice — “You Should Be Doing Better.”
Then there’s the inner critic — the mean one.
“You’re not patient enough.”
“You should be further along.”
“A good mom wouldn’t feel this overwhelmed.”
This voice is sneaky because it pretends to be “motivating.” It tries to shame us into becoming better mothers… but instead it turns motherhood into a competition we’re always losing.
And if you’re a mom of twins? That critic voice has a field day.
“Other moms do it with one kid — why can’t you handle two?”
“They’re not hitting milestones fast enough.”
“You’re messing them up.”
That voice drains confidence, kills joy, and builds resentment toward ourselves. And honestly? We don’t deserve that from anyone — especially not from the person we spend our entire life with… ourselves.
The Coach Voice — “Okay Queen… Breathe. We’ve Got This.”
Then there’s the voice we don’t hear often enough: the coach.
The part of you that is supportive, grounded, honest, and loving. The voice that doesn’t sugarcoat reality, but doesn’t punish you for it either.
“Today was hard… and you’re still a good mom.”
“You’re allowed to rest.”
“We don’t need to be perfect — we just need to take the next step.”
The coach voice is the one that reminds you:
You’re human.
You’re worthy.
You’re learning.
You’re doing the best you can… and your best is enough.
It doesn’t yell.
It doesn’t shame.
It guides.
The Real Problem — And The Real Solution
The problem isn’t that we have a victim voice or a critic voice. We’re always going to have them. They serve emotional roles. They speak when we’re hurt. They speak when we’re afraid.
The problem is when they’re running the household inside your head.
Because when the victim is in charge, you feel powerless.
When the critic is in charge, you feel unworthy.
But when the coach is in charge?
You feel capable. Grounded. Supported. Still human… but not broken.
So how do we shift?
Not by “being more positive.” Not by pretending everything is fine. Not by spiritual-bypassing our stress.
We shift by noticing which voice is speaking… and choosing who leads.
Next time you feel overwhelmed, ask:
👉 “Is this voice shaming me, scaring me, or supporting me?”
Then intentionally bring in the coach.
Say:
“I hear you. This is hard. But what can we do right now?”
Maybe the answer is:
Feed the kids frozen nuggets with zero guilt.
Take a five-minute cry break.
Lower your expectations today.
Ask for help.
Put the twins to bed a little early and take a breath.
Small shifts. Realistic compassion.
For My Fellow Mommas — Especially The Twin Tribe 💛
You are not weak for struggling.
You are not failing because you feel overwhelmed.
You are not a bad mom because you have moments where you want to hide.
You are a human raising humans — two at the same time.
So today, I invite you to tune into that inner voice… and choose the one that lets you be imperfect and powerful at the same time.
Not the victim.
Not the critic.
But the coach — the one who looks at you and says:
“You’re doing enough. You ARE enough. Now let’s take the next step… together.”
Because momma, you’ve got this. And on the days you don’t?
We’ve got you.
— Chrystal Brotherson
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Fallon Michael on Unsplash
