There’s a war going on – and I don’t mean one of the armed conflicts that are tragically still happening in many parts of the world. This one is here in our own backyards. It’s not as visible as the military conflicts which fill the front pages, but the damage being done to half of humanity is enormous.
A recent report states that in the UK alone, two million women are estimated to be victims of violence perpetrated by men each year, in what amounts to a ‘national emergency’ according to the police. It includes sexual harassment, domestic abuse, stalking and sexual assault and affects one in twelve women, with the number of recorded offences growing by thirty-seven per cent in the past five years and the perpetrators getting younger. And access to social media has fuelled a new category of violent online misogyny,
If some kind of disease was causing all this harm, by now we would have funded the research needed to find the causes and would be doing whatever was necessary to eradicate it as quickly as possible. But because male violence happens out of the sight and minds of many people, and also perhaps because it is perpetrated by the gender that comprises the majority of decision makers in government and corporations, the interventions being taken to reduce or prevent it are obviously woefully inadequate. We’re just fiddling around at the edges of eradicating male gender violence rather than addressing the full scale of the problem head on.
So my fellow Good Men, this is an invitation to take up, not military arms, but your human arms to embrace and protect the women who are victims in this gender war, and also to connect with the men who are causing this harm. Their abusive actions don’t bring them any happiness, but show the broken state of their mental well-being and the urgent need for them to find their true strength and reconnect with their hearts. I see these men as damaged rather than evil, and out of touch with their true feelings in a way that is sadly still accepted and even encouraged by the out-of-date and limited man-box models of masculinity. While nothing can excuse their actions, we need to be looking for explanations and solutions, and making sure these men can get the help and support they need, not just wringing our hands and handing out punishments. The future wellbeing of all men and women depends on it.
It’s not enough anymore just to be ‘Good’ – we must take a stand and take action. Most of us are not personally responsible for the damage that violent men are causing, but our inaction makes us complicit. In the words of the famous quote “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing”. So let’s get going – try to do something regularly, no matter how small, that will in some way contribute to the reduction of male gender violence, even if it’s only joining an organisation like the White Ribbon campaign or writing lobby for more research into its causes.
Let’s feel proud of ourselves as ‘Good Men’ by doing whatever we can to end male violence against women and girls in 2025! There’s no excuse for putting it off any longer
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This Post is republished on Medium.
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Photo credit: iStock
