They Will Miss You a Lot!! A Stoic Perspective

Marcus Aurelius, stoic philosopher, reflects one of the fundamental principles of Stoic philosophy: Happiness is shaped more by our inner attitude than by external circumstances.

The quality of life is determined not by external factors but by the meaning we assign to events and how we respond to them. If we can control our thoughts, perspectives, and reactions, we can largely control our happiness as well. According to the Stoics, true happiness does not depend on the external world; it is about living a virtuous life and disciplining our minds.

Here are three ways to make yourself missed. Read carefully.

1. The Peace of Surrender

Imagine desperately gripping the reins of a wild horse. You pull the reins tighter and press your heels in, trying to tame the animal. But with every futile tug, you only tighten the knot of your own suffering. This is the illusion of control. The Stoics, who told us we should be the masters of our own fate, the captains of our own ships, and the writers of our own happiness, saw this delusion. They understood that much of life unfolds beyond our grasp, like the shifting winds and tides.

Our pain arises not from what happens to us, but from our futile attempts to control it. The Stoic philosophy invites us to turn inward, to focus on the one area we truly have control over. The area we should focus on is our ability to choose our thoughts, our attitudes, and how we respond to the world around us.

Instead of gripping the reins of that wild horse, imagine relaxing your hand and allowing its untamed spirit to carry you. Feel the wind in your hair, the sun on your face. You’re no longer fighting life, you’re flowing with it. This is the tranquility of surrender. This surrender is not weakness, it is wisdom. It is the acceptance that we are part of a vast and complex universe, and our efforts to shape it according to our will are futile.

Stoic acceptance is not passive resignation, but an active participation in life. It is about choosing to focus on what we can control, our inner world, and letting the rest flow with the currents of the universe. Loosen the reins and let yourself go with the flow, welcome to the tranquility of surrender.

2. Love Yourself

We live in a world bombarded with messages that constantly tell us our worth is determined by external validation — likes, followers, compliments, the approval of others. We’ve been conditioned to seek happiness outside of ourselves, in the fleeting boosts of social acceptance and the changing winds of other people’s opinions. However, this relentless pursuit of external approval is a siren call that distances us from the true source of our joy and fulfillment.

Stoic philosophy offers us a remedy to this ailment. It teaches us that our happiness, our worth, our essence lies not in the eyes of others, but in the depths of our own soul. Imagine for a moment that you are a diamond buried beneath the earth. Your inner value is always there, whether or not others see it. By focusing on the things we can control — our thoughts, actions, and values — and letting go of our dependence on things beyond our control, like the views and behaviors of others, we can unearth the diamond within us, like an archaeologist bringing it into the light.

By loving yourself, you should always strive to follow your passions, develop your skills, and align your life with your deepest values, embracing the radiant aspects of your own being.

3. The Search For a Fruitful Life

We need to strive to align our lives with four fundamental virtues: wisdom, courage, justice, and moderation. It is important to recognize that true wealth lies not in material possessions, but in the development of our inner character.

Imagine yourself as a sculptor. By chipping away at the rough edges of your being, you can reveal the natural beauty and potential within you. With each strike of the hammer, you free yourself a little more from the situations, limiting beliefs, and fears that hold you back.

As you believe in and practice this, you will begin to see yourself as a developing masterpiece, a work of art worthy of love and admiration. As you transform into a work of art, you will become exactly the person you have longed to be!

You are not alone on this journey. Join me. Contact me.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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