[This User’s Guide to Coaching series explains everything you need to know to successfully engage and work with a coach—a life coach, a creativity coach, an executive coach, any sort of coach. It accompanies Dr. Maisel’s latest book, The Coach’s Way, described as “the finest resource available for anyone who wants to develop or enrich their coaching abilities.” Grab your copy now!]
Coaching helps in more ways than in just helping you get clear on your goals and in helping you achieve those goals. It’s a place where you get to say what’s on your mind and hear yourself think. It’s a place of co-creation and collaboration with another person, where you are doing nothing less than designing or redesigning your life. It is a place to talk things through, feel supported, and be held accountable for doing the things you claim are important for you to do. It is all of that and more.
But it’s likely that a central feature of the coaching will be you coming to name the goals that you have in mind, you and your coach clarifying those goals so that they are doable and on point, your coach presenting you with ways for the two of you to monitor those goals, and your coach actively monitoring those goals. Be prepared to “think goals” and be prepared to have a significant portion of your first session be about helping you name your goals.
Goals can sound similar but be very different. “I want to write a novel” and “I want to write my novel” sound superficially similar, but in the second case it sounds like you have a novel in mind that you’ve been working on, and in the first case it sounds like you don’t yet have an idea for a novel in mind. The logical goal for the first would be to get a novel in mind—that is, it is more a thinking goal than a writing goal. The goal for the second is a writing goal, to get your novel written. Expect that you and your coach will spend time working together to gain this sort of clarity, so that the goal you’re pursuing matches what you are actually after.
Every goal will have a size to it and a level of difficulty to it. The goal of getting your desk organized, as heavy and difficult as that may feel, is nevertheless a smaller-feeling goal than the goal of remodeling your house. The goal of losing ten pounds, as heavy and difficult as that may feel, is nevertheless a smaller-feeling goal that the goal of losing a hundred pounds. Both “small goals” and “large goals” can feel daunting and can be daunting, but we naturally expect that our larger goals will come with more angst, more anxiety, more resistance, and more challenges. Every goal will come with some angst, anxiety, resistance, and challenge, or else you would have gotten it done already—but you and your coach will want to factor in the likelihood that massive goals come with extra heavy lifting.
How many goals will you arrive at in your first session? A very typical number is two or three. If you’re a writer trying to get your novel written, your initials goals may be to get your writing space organized, get your notes for your novel organized, and begin a regular writing practice. If you’re looking to improve your health, your initials goals may be to exercise regularly, monitor your food intake, and work on getting to bed earlier. Once you have your goals clearly and carefully named, you and your coach will likely next work on creating a plan for achieving those goals. And so, let’s look at planning next!
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“The Coach’s Way is possibly the finest resource available for anyone who wants to develop or enrich their coaching abilities. This new book is designed to give coaches the confidence and structure in their practice that will generate real results for their clients. Any- one who makes a living in the coaching arena will benefit from Dr. Maisel’s tremendous experience and training as a therapist, coach, and human. I’m so glad to have this book as a guide for my own coaching work and will recommend it to many others in the helping professions.”— Jacob Nordby, author of The Creative Cure: How Finding and Freeing Your Inner Artist Can Heal Your Life
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Read Part One Here: The Coach’s Way: User’s Guide to Coaching
Read Part Two Here: Can You Tolerate the Truth?
Read Part Three Here: Can I Collaborate?
Read Part Four Here: Picking a Kind of Helper
Read Part Five Here: Picking Your Coach
Read Part Six Here: Don’t Worry If Your Worldviews Differ
Read Part Seven Here: Check Your Expectations
Read Part Eight Here: Provide Your Coach With Information
Read Part Nine Here: Be Prepared to Be Psychological
Read Part Ten Here: Schedule a Session
Read Part Eleven Here: Right Before Your First Session
Read Part Twelve Here: Your First Session Begins
Read Part Thirteen Here: Don’t Expect Your Coach to Mind Read
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This Post is republished on Medium.
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Photo credit: iStock