Thinking in Chapters: Your Life Is in the Process of Becoming

Do you ever feel you’re reading the same old book, chapter after chapter? You know, like you’ve read it all before?

The same old, same old?

We all have those moments where we feel like we’ve read the same thing or seen that exact thing before.

As we read, watch, or experience the same things over and over again in our lives, we sometimes lose the essence of it.

We start to feel like we’ve read that chapter before, and we begin to miss what made it new and special the first time.

Human development is a process — a long non-linear process.

Instead of perceiving your life in years, think of it as chapters of dates, events and meaningful experiences you can control.

Psychologist Erik Erikson explains, “To be adult means among other things to see one’s own life in continuous perspective, both in retrospect and in prospect … to selectively reconstruct his past in such a way that, step for step, it seems to have planned him, or better, he seems to have planned it.”

You’ve come a long way since your first childhood experiences — you’ve shifted identities, solidified beliefs and assumptions.

We are all still evolving into better or worse versions of ourselves.

Life is a series of events we can categorize.

“Every chapter in life helps you move forward,” says Mario Gotze.

Every major event — new school, moving out, starting work, changing jobs, marriage, becoming a parent, divorce, major illness, death of a loved one, or jobs loss ) changes the trajectory of your life.

Any major event starts a new chapter that can redefine your identity.

Sometimes these chapters are positive and define the type of person we are. On other occasions, we might find that some of our chapters have been filled with tragedy.

It can be challenging to look back on our lives and make sense of our chapters. However, if we can find the positive in our past, we can also use it as a source of motivation for our future.

The good news is, new chapters can be leveraged to design a better life.

Whether you identify more with your future self or your past self, don’t forget that you can influence the direction of your life.

New chapters are not predefined. The best way to build a better chapter is to engage with the world around you productively.

Your relationship may not be thriving, but you can improve it by talking with each other openly, listening more than you speak, and supporting each other.

You keep things fresh by changing up the things you do.

The same applies to almost every area of your life. If you feel stuck, change something you do daily, pick new and better habits, learn a new skill to improve your career, start a new exercise routine to improve your health.

If you expect different results in specific areas of your life, change the tiny habits or routines.

If you’re like many people, your imagination tends to be more active than practical. Don’t stay in the past, hoping the future will be better.

Do something different today if you want things to change.

Worrying about any chapter of life will only make things worse. Make plans and act on what you know to change the trajectory or write a better story.

When you’re heading in the right direction, things look good.

Do you see a future that you’re excited about? Or are you looking at your life and wondering where it went wrong?

There’s always an opportunity for a fresh start.

You can reinvent your identity, change the title of your next chapter, write a story you will be proud of and make memories you want to relive.

Make tomorrow a new page — start a new and productive habit that can help you feel less burdened by your past mistakes.

You don’t have to disrupt your schedule to change the narrative of any chapter in your life. A new habit or routine could be as simple as starting your day with nature walks or 30 minutes of exercise to boost your mood.

You can easily jumpstart a new behaviour to break from an old routine that’s not helping you become a better version of yourself.

Take control of the changes in your life or evaluate everything that’s important to you now and in the future. And start writing the stories you want to read about your life.

You can even start a monthly life chapter review and think about different habits, routines, rituals and behaviours you can change, modify or start to clarify the direction of your life.

As you create new experiences in the next chapter of your life, remember, you can redesign or restructure the stories to make life meaningful.

Give yourself permission and time to adjust when necessary to keep moving forward in a better direction.

Growth is challenging — but a better future depends on it.

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This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.

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