This Confusing Phrase Is Actually a Major Red Flag

.

Transcript provided by YouTube. Slightly edited with AI.

A Giant Red Flag

Recently, I was sent a clip from Lisa Billu’s Women of Impact podcast, which I appeared on. It seems I went on a bit of a rant about something that confuses men in the early stages of dating. This clip got over a million views, so I thought it’s worth revisiting and sharing my thoughts on it once again.

It’s not when someone says, “I’m not sure I know you well enough yet,” that’s a red flag. Let’s get to know each other better. But if they’re saying, “I’m not sure I’m ready for a relationship,” that’s a giant red flag. They’re basically telling you, “I am going to hurt you,” plain and simple. So you have a decision to make.

Now, you might say, “If you’re 25 and just looking to have fun, that’s fine.” I’m not judging that. But if you’re at a stage in your life where you’re genuinely ready for something real and exciting, and the person in front of you is not sure if a relationship excites them, why bother? Why invest your time?

It’s like trying to sell a car to someone who doesn’t want a car. Selling a car is already hard enough when someone wants one, but imagine trying to sell a car to someone who isn’t even sure they want to drive. They might prefer their bicycle. It’s an uphill battle.

The Car Metaphor

Selling someone a car who wants a car is challenging. You’re competing with all the other car manufacturers and dealerships. But trying to sell a car to someone who doesn’t even want a car is even harder. They might prefer a different mode of transportation.

People often say I’m the master of metaphors. Don’t they? Jameson Matthews, Matthew is the master of the metaphor, twice if you’re in danger.

Persisting on a Red Light

Sometimes, I watch moments like this rant, and I wonder why I was so mad that day. But it comes from seeing people repeatedly banging their heads against the wall in relationships. We always have some logic or story about why we should keep trying with someone, based on a friend’s success or some other reasoning.

But what it really comes down to is there’s a flow to success in any area of life. There are green lights and red lights. Green lights are when someone is genuinely interested and invested. Red lights are when someone is uncertain or not ready for a relationship.

Flowing around the red light is the key. It’s about recognizing when it’s time to move on instead of persisting. If you persist on a red light, you’ll only exhaust yourself and potentially create more pain in the process.

A Beautiful, Relaxed Energy

In dating and relationships, it’s essential to maintain a beautiful, relaxed energy. When you encounter resistance from someone, you can still meet them with kindness, compassion, warmth, and charisma. But it’s also crucial not to buy into what they’re selling if it doesn’t align with your goals.

Persistence doesn’t mean trying harder with one person. It means being persistent in your pursuit of genuine love and happiness.

But When Should I Persist?

People often wonder when they should persist and when to move on. If you find yourself trying to convince someone through sheer persistence, it’s a sign that the situation may not be stable. When you persist in that scenario, there’s a risk that the other person may relent but not truly want the relationship, leading to future issues.

Persistence should be an allegiance to your goal of finding genuine love. It might look like moving on from someone who isn’t ready for a relationship, redirecting your energy toward more promising prospects.

Your Value

Remember, persistence doesn’t equal attraction. People don’t become more attracted to you when you try harder. They’re more likely to see your value when they realize it comes at a cost.

So, when someone says they’re not ready for a relationship, view it as a green light to redirect your energy toward someone who appreciates your worth. It’s about flowing around the red light, not persisting against it.

Love Life

Thank you for joining me in these videos. If you want a more immersive experience, consider joining the Love Life Club, a membership where I coach people, provide master classes, and offer a community of like-minded individuals. Check it out at joinlovelife.com. Your engagement means a lot to me. Thank you for watching.

—

This post was previously published on YouTube.

Blog → https://www.howtogettheguy.com/blog/ Facebook → https://facebook.com/CoachMatthewHussey Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/thematthewh… Twitter → https://twitter.com/matthewhussey ▼ Connect with Stephen ▼ Youtube → https://bit.ly/StephenHusseyYoutube Instagram → http://bit.ly/StephenHusseyIG

***

You Might Also Like These From The Good Men Project

Compliments Men Want to Hear More Often

Relationships Aren’t Easy, But They’re Worth It

The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex

..A Man’s Kiss Tells You Everything

—

Photo credit: iStock