For most of my life, I’d suffered with anxiety bouts and towards the latter ones they were becoming more and more ferocious. Sleeping two hours a night for three weeks, losing 7kg of weight and even turning a weird shade of grey was the last straw. It was my last EVER anxiety attack. Now when I get anxious, the volatility of the reaction is way, way less and my first reaction is, “That’s interesting, I wonder what’s underneath that?” rather than, “Oh sh!t, I feel out of control, shut that down immediately. I’ll do intense kickboxing to feel calm again.”
The big reason I suffered so badly was because I thought anxiety was just a part of life and something one has to put up with. In short, we don’t. Yes, some is a chemical imbalance but A LOT of anxiety can be avoided, or better said, accepted. That’s the reason most suffer from anxiety — there’s something that they haven’t accepted. Be that fear about something, avoiding feeling sad, or the body stopping them from expressing anger. These ‘blockages’ are what cause anxiety.
A remedy? Emotions are Energy-in-motion and anxiety happens when the energy can’t (or we won’t let it) go where it would like to. Yes, we are human beings but if you start to view yourself as a bunch of particles (energy) floating through space — which we 100% are (everything is if you think about it) — allowing the energy to flow becomes easier. Then it’s a case of understanding how our behavioural reactions (our triggers) are often our Ego “protecting” us due to something that happened in the past that, at the time, we couldn’t handle/accept because we didn’t have the emotional intelligence/bandwidth. With those two points combined, we can begin our journey of undoing our parental and societal conditioning and choose the life meant for us, instead of feeling stuck in the one we’ve been given.
The above is summerised beautifully here: “When you don’t see the Self as Self, what do you have to fear?” Lao Tzu
This is the tip of the iceberg in making changes in our lives. The rabbit hole is deep but exponentially rewarding. If you’d care to find out more about the above, please do get in touch.
As always, thanks for reading,
Adam (Follow me on IG @thevulnerabilityguy for more)
PRACTICE: The 80/20 rule
WHY: When we listen to how we are feeling – how our body is acting in certain situations — the happier we become.
HOW TO START: When in conversation, spend 80% of your focus on how you’re feeling about what’s being said. The other 20% of your attention will pick up the words. Then you can respond from a place of feeling as opposed to thought. Thinking is massively overrated.
Adam Slawson is a Transformational Coach specialising in Vulnerability and Authenticity in Relationships and the founder of Plight Club clothing. His mission is to redefine vulnerability (as it’s the catalyst to our freedom). For more tools on tips to become better at expressing your emotions download his free e-guide here and/or visit his website here.
Living consciously and by choice instead of by habit is amazing but it takes practise. Adam will save you a lot of time and support you through the insecurity of change. If you’re curious about this work, book a free discovery call and he’ll answer any questions you may have…
BOOK A FREE DISCOVERY CALL HERE
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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