This Is How You Know It’s Not Your Love Language

We often have a seemingly irrational aversion to the love languages we don’t speak. When we are faced with them, we find ourselves thinking, “That’s not love.” And like everything else that triggers our distaste, our least favourite love language can teach us a lot about ourselves.

Here is a non-comprehensive list of things people say when they don’t speak a love language.

Keep in mind that we all say some of these things to certain people from time to time. It’s the beliefs we hold consistently across many contexts that count here.

Words of Affirmation

Words are cheap.
Your words don’t mean anything if you ______.
Why should I have to say it?
Saying “I love you” too often makes it lose its meaning.
I’m not good with words.
You don’t have to say anything.
I hate compliments.
I can’t take a compliment.
You’re so cheesy.
Shhh, don’t talk.
*Cringe*

Acts of Service

Get it yourself.
I’m not your servant.
I’m not your slave.
How does *insert chore here* prove that I love you?
You didn’t have to do that. I would have done it myself.
Yeah, but I didn’t ask you to.
I’m fine. I’ll take care of it.
You’re just doing that to lord it over my head later.
They’re only helping me because they want something out of me.
I’ll do it later; what’s the big deal?

Physical Touch

I’m just not a touchy-feely person.
I hate when people get in my space.
Yeah, I’m not a hugger.
No touchy.
I hate when people slobber all over me.
I really don’t like massages.
Holding hands while walking is uncomfortable.
Public displays of affection are inappropriate. I don’t need to see that.
Get a room.
I need a lot of room for myself when I sleep.
My bubble.

Quality Time

I’m busy.
I need space.
Our friendship is great. We can not talk for years, but when we do, it’s like no time has passed.
I suck at texting back.
We don’t have to meet up in person.
You guys can stay, but I’m going to bed.
I don’t feel like doing that.
Can’t you go with someone else?
Do I have to come?
I don’t feel like *insert activity here.* You guys go ahead.
How long is this gonna take?

Gifts

Caring about presents is materialistic and shallow.
Christmas is just a capitalist ploy.
Great, more useless crap.
I have no idea what to get them.
You don’t have to get me anything.
I’m a minimalist.
Why should I have to buy you things to prove that I love you?
No, you really didn’t have to get me anything.
Ugh, now I have to get them something.
How much did you spend on this?
That’s just a waste of money.
*Insert holiday here* is not about the presents. It’s about _________.
Consumerism, ugh.

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Previously Published on medium

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