Dating exposes you to all kinds of people, and sometimes, one of the men who’ll catch your eye is going to be a mama’s boy.
When you’re in a relationship with someone, chances are you’ll need to consider a lot more people than just you and your partner. You’ll also need to get along with their friends and family — at least to a certain extent.
But if you’re dating someone who’s unusually close to his mother, almost to a point where it feels like they’re a package deal, making nice with your boyfriend’s parents can get really tricky.
Trust me, I know.
Jonathan: Lili’s “He Who Must Not Be Named”
It was love at first sight.
. . . or at least, I thought it was.
He was tall, hazel eyed, half Filipino, and 100% hilarious. He shared jokes with a sweet little accent and had no problem being the butt of a joke if it meant everybody was laughing until they’re blue in the face. I always did like a guy with a fantastic sense of humor.
And he liked me too! For most women, that practically feels like winning the lottery.
But there’s a catch: he’s a certified mama’s boy.
While Jonathan seemed like the perfect man that God had created just for me, he also came with his own perfect attachment, and her name was Tita Sue.
Jonathan’s mother was the Filipina half of his heritage. Being a Filipina myself, you’d think that meant we’d get along. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case.
John and I have a date planned? Tita Sue is suddenly not feeling well and needs someone in the house with her. I’m thinking of getting a cat because I miss my childhood pet? It would mean John can’t come over because Tita Sue is allergic.
John is thinking about proposing after almost two years together?
Well, Tita Sue just doesn’t think Liliana is the right woman for her baby boy.
It’s still a little painful thinking about it sometimes, but at the end of day, I know I dodged a bullet. After all, it’s not about dates or the cats or even the canceled proposals.
It was about wanting a man who would fight for me. Jonathan, a mama’s boy, just didn’t feel up to the task.
Sam: The Man Who Made Marissa Believe in Happy Endings Again
Of all the people who’d end up being more lucky in love than I am, I never imagined it would be my friend Marissa.
Sure, she’s beautiful, clever, and had enough charisma to charm a snake, but while we’re both hopeless romantics, Riz always seemed to enjoy the idea of love more than love itself. It’s why she’s broken her heart more times than I have.
But before she could give up on finding someone special, she met Samuel, the youngest son of an intimidating matriarch. Another undeniable mama’s boy.
But unlike John, Sam’s close relationship with his mother taught him everything he needed to know about love, and about loving Riz.
Riz, who likes “bad guys” far too much for her own good, suddenly has a man who is polite and respectful to everyone, especially women.
Riz, who is used to crying over cheating partners, found a loyal boyfriend who shares jokes from his childhood and makes her laugh so hard she’ll cry.
Riz, who thought men only ever saw her as a pretty prize to flaunt to other men, is finally with someone who knows the value of a woman, because that’s how his mother raised him.
To Date or Not to Date?
There was a movie I remembered watching a few months ago, where the main character said boys “always returned to their mamas.”
A mama’s boy can be like Jonathan, who may as well be on a leash for all that he can’t make a single decision without his mother’s say-so.
Or he can be like Sam, who uses everything he learned from his mom to build a good life for himself and for the woman he loves.
In the end, it’s up to you to take the risk — to take a leap of faith.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Nathan Anderson on Unsplash
