Aaron W. Voyles explores cyclical shame for men and education.
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I entitled this week’s article “To Ditch the Dunce Cap,” so, in some ways, this is my self-titled album. Self-titled albums from bands tend to fall into two categories, either ones that dramatically change the sound of their music or ones that reintroduce the band’s roots. For me, this article is the latter.
My column, though I talk about many different aspects of masculinity, is called Ditching the Dunce Cap because it is about the need to move men past the negative behaviors and negative trends that exist in college education. In my first column, I reviewed the idea of the “dunce cap” as a visible demonstration of shaming and of being “less than.” Masculinity, then, is often about the balance to go unnoticed with that shame.
Brene Brown (2012) refers to shame in men as the fear of not having enough money and of failing. Men cannot then be vulnerable because of the fear it brings with looking weak. A lack of vulnerability leads to a lack of emotionally opening up, a lack of an ability to process emotions, and then the negative consequences of this inability.
And no, not all men are the same. There is a great spectrum of the capabilities and emotional responses in men, and all men are capable of learning and progressing forward in any aspect of their development that they chose. But the specter of the dunce cap is something that impacts all genders at college and throughout education.
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The dunce cap itself is a difficult concept. The shame that comes into play for education plays from both sides of the issue and from an early age. Boys are socialized to devalue school and therefore put much less effort into schoolwork even though boys and girls cognitive abilities are consistently similar (Grabmeier, 2013). Boys can’t do too well in school, which leads to them not doing well and having their own intelligence devalued and then cyclically being shamed by school to give up.
This means that fewer men are going to college and fewer are graduating, but it’s important to note that this is not a new issue. Grabmeier (2013) cites that there has always been an enthusiasm and effort gap in schooling, but that men were able to get away with it and move into blue collar jobs previously, whereas those jobs have been disappearing in our recent past.
Lewin (2006) writes that men are doing worse because of their privilege and entitlement, stating that men just don’t put it in the same amount of effort as women. As an educator, I don’t believe this is an intentional shirking of duties. Men have been socialized throughout their lives to devalue education to value the “college experience” that includes risky behavior.
The risky behavior of men combined with disrespect for education is also what leads to violence against women and other campus conduct issues. When I talk about “disrespect” for education, I am again not referring to an active process of dismantling their own education, but rather a reinforced attitude that would be as unnoticeable as many other unearned privileges to the privileged.
Ironically, the privilege that men have been able to unknowingly (or, in some cases, knowingly) rely on to get into college, succeed throughout, and then afterwards, is also what is leading to poor results now. As a group, men are simply not succeeding as much as women.
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Despite this new reality, this is not good news for women either. The causes of the falling behind breed the same dangerous epidemic of violence against women. The shame of not being masculine enough damages men, sure, but it’s actually much worse for women. Shows of masculinity to step past a dunce cap that says you are “less than” are part of what contribute to inappropriate behavior from men.
How do we then “ditch” the dunce cap? My column is a weekly exploration of this issue and it involves investigating gender from a variety of angles and through a number of issues. This week’s column is a reminder of the lens through which I view my work.
Ditching the dunce cap starts with conversations like those we have at The Good Men Project, but we also must not kid ourselves that by having these conversations we are doing everything we can. We must take action with our own students, our own children, and our own communities to name privilege, shame, and the ideas of gender and then reframe those together.
Brown, B. (2012). Daring greatly: How the courage to be vulnerable transforms the way we live, love, parent, and lead. New York, NY: Gotham Books.
Grabmeier, J. (2013, Feb. 25). Boys’ lack of effort in school tied to college gender gap. The Ohio State University. Retreived from http://researchnews.osu.edu/archive/riseofwomen2.htm.
Lewin, T. (2006, July 9). At colleges, women are leaving men in the dust. The New York Times. Retrieved from http://www.nytimes.com/2006/07/09/education/09college.html?pagewanted=all.
Ditching the Dunce Cap is a weekly Friday column from Aaron W. Voyles on the University of Texas-Austin. He welcomes your comments. This column is not affiliated with the university.
—Photo Seniju/Flickr
—Edits by Nancy Lien
Also in Ditching the Dunce Cap:
Can You Manage the College Male?
“Have at it, Boys” and College Men
The Challenge of Male Mentorship
Becoming a Beard Mentor
College Made Me Think I Hated Beer
An Ode to My College Roommate
Vomit. Sorry.
Examining the Axe Effect
When Will You Grab Your Saw?
Do You Know the Mega-Dump?
If the Shoe Fits, Cheat