Toxic People Will Always Answer These 4 Questions Wrong

In a scene from the old TV series The Mentalist, Jane, the equivalent of modern-day Sherlock Holmes, finds out who the murderer is in less than a minute.

They were standing at the crime scene. A guy walked in and stepped on the blood on the floor without paying attention. It was a bloody and disgusting spot.

People told him that he had been standing on blood. He just looked to the floor and moved away. He did that without even blinking.

Jane was watching him like a hawk. He looked him right in the eye and saw precisely what he thought: nothing. Psychopaths have this dead look where you feel you’re staring at an empty soul. Zero expressions and no feelings.

Jane instantly believed his gut feeling. This guy was the killer. He didn’t need to investigate further. And he turned out to be correct.

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Toxic people tell you who they are through many subtle cues. You only need to learn what to pay attention to and what questions to ask.

In this article, I want to share 4 questions I found useful to help you gauge if someone is toxic or not. The answers toxic people give to these questions will make them expose themselves indirectly.

Let’s dig in.

#1 What do you think of people?

They say that what Sam says about Simon says more about Sam than it does about Simon. This goes along with the saying that we see the world as we are, not as it is.

So, if you want to know what someone is like, ask them what they think of people (in general).

If someone is a cheater, liar, manipulative son of a bitch, he will likely believe that everyone is also the same. Call it projection. Call it fear of Karmic punishment. Call it whatever you call it. I don’t care.

Here’s why.

Toxic people are usually mistrustful of others and label almost everyone as terrible. Their beliefs about others are a reflection of who they are. So, by asking them what they think of others, they will vent and tell you exactly who they are.

On the other hand, secure, honest people aren’t naive or stupid. They know there’s evil in the world. But they also know it’s not all there is.

So, when asked about what they think of people in general, they don’t shit on others. They know they’re good, so there must be other folks out there like them. Toxic people believe the same.

Now, asking people about themselves will still give you a great idea about who they are.

Here’s one thing you can ask . . .

#2 Are you a narcissist? (Yes, seriously!)

Here’s a secret about narcissists. They know they’re narcissistic. In fact, they’re proud of that, unlike normal people who feel ashamed when labeled as narcissists.

This is not my personal opinion (although my experience backs it up). This is a solid research result. It was found that simply asking people how narcissistic they are accurately predicted narcissism.

So, ask them. It’s really that simple. Narcissists will immediately tell you that they are narcissists, arrogant, or at least high on narcissism. They won’t be ashamed of being called such a dirty word.

(Note: Even if they are “covert” narcissists, they will still be proud of the fact that they’ve been called narcissists. You’ll see it in their eyes.)

They say that when someone tells you who they are, believe them. That’s true.

But here’s something toxic people don’t admit . . .

#3 What was the most disgusting thing you’ve ever seen? How about this one *showing them or describing

something awfully disgusting*? (The answer is a reaction, not words).
There’s a study that suggests there’s a link between morality and disgust. According to it, people who get disgusted easily are more likely to have high morals. And vice versa.

Now, this suggests that heartless jerks who don’t get disgusted easily are likely to lie more, cheat, manipulate, steal, and do all sorts of nasty stuff.

You can gauge someone’s “disgust response” by asking them. Use the above formula to make it less socially awkward (although it’s still weird)!

The answer you’re looking for is in their body language. Speficially, their pupils and mouth. The pupils should dilate. Their lips will raise up, causing the nose bridge to wrinkle and the cheek to raise. We call this the universal facial expression for disgust. See the below picutre for reference.

#4 Why did your past relationships fail?

Toxic people (not necessarily evil) are emotionally immature. What is the best predictor of emotional immaturity? Troubled relationships. Why? Because they treat others like shit and either leave them or get left.

They tend to have a strike of broken hearts and failed romantic relationships. Or they need to update (read, replace) their social circle and friends often because they get exposed for who they actually are (this is usually the case with narcissists and psychopaths).

Yes, it’s not always fair to judge people by their past. But it can give you an idea about who they are right now, especially if they haven’t made any effort to change and become more emotionally mature. So, ask about their past relationships.

But that’s not all.

What’s the second-best predictor of emotional immaturity? Refusal to accept responsibility. Why? Well, the word “immaturity” says it all.

Toxic people tend to blame others for their failed relationships. If someone had one or two crazy exes, maybe it’s just bad luck. If 2 or 4 of their friends were toxic, perhaps it’s, again, bad luck. But if all or most of their exes and friends were batshit crazy, it’s not the friends or the exes — it’s them!

Toxic people never admit this fact and, therefore, take zero responsibility for their actions. They keep thinking the problem is out there. And even when they know it’s not out there, they refuse to be accountable or change their behavior.

So, ask them about their past relationships and listen closely. Most of the time, their answer will contain everything you need to know about their emotional maturity and how they will treat you.

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