August 18, 2021. A 6:00 a.m. text from my ex-wife.
“A student from Cleveland was killed in a shooting outside of our son’s school at 11:30 p.m. last night.”
My son attends a Jewish institution in seemingly calm, sunny, peaceful Denver, Colorado. Parents from around the country send their teenage boys to study there. Each one to become and grow into what in Yiddish is referred to as a mensch. The best translation… a kind, loving, compassionate man.
The headlines across Jewish news outlets worldwide reported the murder within hours. The Jerusalem Post. World Israel News. Israel National News. Jewish Telegraphic Agency. Jewish News Syndicate. The list is long of all the reports of this one Jewish kid’s murder in little Denver, Colorado. This one Jewish life was so important to Jews worldwide.
The verdict is still out on whether the shooting was a targeted crime against Jews, but there were six gunmen (one potentially in custody) who literally chased the 19 year old kid when he ran, down an alley, into an area at the school, before shooting him three times in the stomach. This wasn’t some random drive-by — not that any killing would be ok.
My head swirled with emotion when I received the morning text. The death of a teenager? A parent losing a child? Was this a targeted attack on Jewish kids? Was my son there? Did he witness it? Was my son safe? Was he harmed?
My son texted me back after receiving multiple calls and texts from me, “I am ok. I didn’t see it. But I’m going to sleep for a little. I will call you later.” My son hadn’t been to sleep yet.
I knew my son wasn’t ok, though, and he might not be for a while. Not only did my son hear the multiple gun shots, the 19 year old who died was my son’s study partner and close friend. He had just learned ancient Jewish texts with the now deceased kid earlier that same evening.
I’m grateful my son was safe, but I of course will never wrap my head around senseless violence and tragedy that has grabbed our headlines so much.
I searched deep for some spirituality to grab onto during this tragedy. I can’t always see God in tragedy. Growing up hearing about the Holocaust always left me confused about whether any god even exists. But what dawned on me as I listened to my own cries, the cries of other parents and my own son’s upon learning of this tragedy is that we too often wait until something happens to us to cry. We understandably react when something hits home. We of course don’t hesitate to shout for justice when our brother is murdered. Believe me, I cried all night even thinking this could’ve been my own son.
But how often do we react or even flinch when blood stains the pavement in someone else’s neighborhood. When someone else suffers at the hands of violence, injustice or unfair treatment. How often do we cry when a young Black jogger gets gunned down.
It turns out gun violence competes each year with car accidents as the leading cause of death for children ages 1–19. In 2019 alone, nine children were killed every day in America. That’s one every two hours and 36 minutes. Sadly, though, Black children are hit the worst. They make up 14% of all kids in America yet account for 43% of gun deaths.
Yet their names aren’t on the pages of newspapers. There’s no substantial urgency to solve what ails their communities. There’s little societal outcry when a Black teenager is gunned down. And there isn’t a worldwide support and news network to discuss the value of the lives lost.
Important detour. Senator Portman of Ohio used to be anti-gay everything. Anti-gay marriage. Anti-gay laws. You name it, he was one of the right wing’s most anti-gay senators. But then something happened. His son came out of the closet. A son Senator Portman loved so much. So much so that Portman changed his political views, dropped his anti-gay efforts and became an advocate of gay marriage and the gay community. A beautiful transformation to be sure, but it didn’t need to wait until it hit home. Senator Portman could’ve cared before it was his family.
Here’s how we can lift this horrific senseless death of a wonderful young Jewish boy to some level of greater purpose. To give extra meaning to his cut short sweet life.
Let’s change the way we care about others’ tragedies. Change the way we practice empathy when someone else cries out in pain. Let’s give some urgency to the challenges confronted by others and their families. We can take more seriously when someone says they are being treated unfairly.
When a Jew is attacked in New York, don’t sit silent just because it’s not your family. When some extremist — left or right — tweets anti-Jewish, racist or other nonsense, don’t wait to see if you’re the target or until Twitter takes action. When a Black child is gunned down, don’t wait until it’s your cousin, family member or friend who gets harmed. Demand and work for critical societal changes now.
We’re all connected in some fashion. A world of peace for each individual — Black, Brown, White, Arab, Jew, Christian, Muslim and everyone else — is a world of peace for all of us.
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Previously Published on Medium
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