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Bullying has been present for generations and, while we are working to remove its presence, it will continue to affect future generations.
As dads, we are the protectors of the family, the rock on which the house is built, and all-around supermen. At least until we discover our kids have been hiding that they have a bully.
Physical or virtual, someone has pushed around our child and we want to crack some heads.
Unfortunately, that is not the solution. We don’t advocate violence, and our own experiences with bullies remind us that we can’t solve the problem for them. A dad getting involved doesn’t keep it from happening, and the victim doesn’t get the chance to overcome the challenge.
It isn’t easy to feel powerless when your child is being victimized. Will it be resolved? Will it affect their future?
Will they become bullies themselves?
Dads can start to ask questions that have potentially nauseating answers. One of the best solutions is to turn to professionals such as the school social worker.
These unsung heroes can help navigate a tumultuous time for both you and your kids. How? Because they have extensive training and education for handling traumatic experiences, and many times personal experience from their own lives.
In fact, working with a social worker might inspire your kid to pay it forward and become one as well – using their traumatic experiences to help others instead of being defined by them.
Bullying to Domestic Abuse: The Sad Facts
1 in 3 students are bullied in school. It’s sad to realize a third of a school’s population may be suffering from being put down or hurt.
What’s worse is that the internet has become a new frontier for bullies to extend their reach. You can keep close tabs on what’s happening in your kid’s life at school, but it can be challenging to stay abreast of their virtual life.
Only 10% of cyberbullying victims openly admit they are suffering, and it’s even more challenging to identify the bully thanks to virtual anonymity.
Older generations can almost always help through their own experiences, but cyberbullying is a new area that professionals are still learning about.
If victims don’t resolve the consequences of being bullied, it can permanently affect their future. Bully victims that don’t heal will have a hard time holding down a job or communicating and maintaining friendships, and take part in unhealthy relationships.
The CDC discovered this correlation when they revealed adult domestic abuse victims had first experienced victimization during their childhood years. Specifically, 22.4% of women and 15% of men were first victimized between the ages of 11-17 years old.
These statistics bring to light our worst fears as parents. That’s why seeking help for our kids AND ourselves from someone who knows how to handle trauma can prevent them from becoming another bullying/domestic abuse victim.
Social Workers to the Rescue
Social workers help kids, adults, families, couples, and groups handle an array of problems. They are trained to counsel, provide resources, and empower clients suffering from poverty, addiction, trauma, abuse, and more.
People’s lives are complex, and these professionals provide assistance in industries where prevalent issues may arise.
Many work in schools or government agencies focused on community betterment, and handle bullying/abuse cases frequently.
The goal is to identify an issue, bring the necessary parties together (family and student), acknowledge the issue, discuss the problems and effects they’ve had, and design a further plan of resolution.
Social workers are not only a resource, but a gateway to more specialized resources if additional help is needed.
Many social workers come from a background where they suffered hardships and overcame them through professional help. In return, they joined the social work field to pay it forward and offer suffering students the same help they were offered. It can be a taxing job, and the line of victims doesn’t end.
Without the help, though, victims might not get over trauma, affecting their bright futures.
The kids aren’t the only ones who need help, either.
Dads rendered powerless or confused by their child’s victimization need help processing their role and what to do.
One piece of advice is to support their kids by helping them attain their goals. In overcoming trauma, they might discover they have a passion for helping others and desire to pursue a career in social work.
Dads – support them, and know they are choosing a career as the everyday hero for future victims.
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Photo credit: Getty Images
