Just yesterday, my friend, Raja, and I were sipping chilled Falanghina (over ice, fresh orange slices & a sprig of mint) during our weekly virtual Happy Hour. Approaching my third Falanghina spritzer ( don’t forget the dash of Aperol !), conversation swayed into the realm of sex.
Photo by the author, Ruben Avillo
I posed the following leading question:
“Who’s on the record player, gently cajoling and cautioning you as your post-dinner chat progresses and presses forward into late evening?”
Photo by the author, Ruben Avillo
Raja inched closer to his computer screen, careful not to spill his Nojito (having recently surrendered alcohol as a necessary aspect of his life as a single man):
“I think the more important question is: Who’s singing you to sleep AFTER you’ve splash-landed in the tangle of sheets!”
Photo by the author, Ruben Avillo
Raja has always had a wonderful way with words , accentuating key phrases and syllables with a perfectly timed, dramatic raise of his right eyebrow and a slight nod of his head.
There was a lag, a delay of time where we were just staring at each other, sipping our respective drinks and NOT answering the two questions that were hanging out there in virtual la-la land.
I ventured to puncture the silence with some badly needed context. I wanted to reference an article I read in the Guardian that talked about soul music and its deep connection to sensuality and sex. I wanted to say:
We’ve all been woo-ed and wowed into bed by the likes of Teddy Pendergrass, “the Godfather of Sex, whose music was very much in the groove of smooth, seductive soul, powered by a husky, passionate-yet-effortless baritone” (The Guardian, 2020). As a young boy growing up in Southwest Detroit, Teddy’s voice was sonic silver, fine lines of silk and sound reaching through the radio. I was smitten.
Photo by the author, Ruben Avillo
Instead, I set my drink down and carefully articulated the following observation:(Since I posed the initial question, I figured it only fair to step up and speak out, first ).
My sensual self-assessment ensued:
“You’re probably surprised I’m not a Nina Simone kind-of-man. That woman’s voice breaks open your heart & makes you bleed joy & despair all at once. Hers is not an exquisite pain like Billie Holiday’s pain. I’m much more a Billie-Boy whose torment is more of a rapture, the price for having the freedom to choose who you love and how you love. Nina’s telling me : don’t fuck with the wrong love or the wrong cause; don’t sell your soul. Most days, I move this Motown-Mexican ass to my Detroit Divas: Aretha, Diana, Martha and get sultry, sexy-sad with Gladys and Tina and most definitely Anita.”
Photo by the author, Ruben Avillo
Raja raised his glass, smiling mischeviously:
Photo by the author, Ruben Avillo
“I’m all about KoKo! KoKo Taylor’s blues are heavy and hard and she begs you to save her from her man. Have you seen that woman sing ? She don’t take no shit from no one ! Ever ! Now, that’s my girl! I saw her at the Rhino Club in Detroit in the early ‘80’s. She came right up to our table and asked me: “Whattaya need, honey? Whattaya need to hear tonight?” I asked her to sing , “Evil,” and I just swooned. She was singing right to me, right at me. Sweating and shaking and belting it out. Yeah, man. I need me some KoKo in my life. Mm hmm.”
Raja and I just laughed and laughed as we continued our convoluted conversation about love and music and romance, naming friends one by one and deciding if they were KoKo Krazy or Billie Boys, or neither !!
Before we had our last toast of the evening, Raja’s face and tone of voice turned serious:
“Rubes, I think we’re missing the most important question of all:
Sex Survey Question # 3:
“Whose ballad and blues and bravado will KEEP you turnin’ and tumblin’ in those sheets ‘til morning??”
We looked at each other and both yelled : “Koko !” and burst out laughing!
Raja added: “Rubes, I’m not kidding. Listen to KoKo singing, “You Can Have My Husband, But Please Don’t Take My Man!” and you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about !”
Raja and I raised our glasses in unison and made a closing toast:
“Wherever , Whenever, Whomever : Love the one you’re with!” and we closed our laptops until the same time next week.
PS Make sure you have plenty of coffee, pastries & mimosas for morning!
Photo by the author, Ruben Avillo
Photo by the author, Ruben Avillo
Just had to share my Aretha Christmas eve aria with you! Check out my green leather jacket ! (I may have been pushing the fashion envelope just a little too hard ! 🙂
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This post was previously published on Hello, Love.
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