For almost 50 years author Kozo Hattori has had to step to the plate with a mini-bat, and you know what? That’s not such a bad thing.
After 49 years of field research, I can honestly say that I have one of the smallest adult penises I have ever seen.
I will not bore you with the thousands of hours scanning locker rooms, gauging public showers, and peaking over urinal partitions. One example should suffice.
“I’d be happy with 4 inches”
When I was in college, I went on a ski trip with my girlfriend. At her parent’s cabin, we ended up watching a comedy show with her older brother. On the show, Sam Kinison was joking about how women should be satisfied with his 4 inch penis.
“Are you satisfied with 4 inches?” the older brother asked.
“I’d be happy with 4 inches,” quipped my girlfriend.
Of course, she gave me a hug and said that she was kidding, but you know what they say about all jokes containing a bit of truth–in this case, a very small bit.
What a Small Penis Can Do for Tou
Having to live an entire life with a small penis, I have learned to look for the silver lining. As counter intuitive as it sounds, there are benefits to being under-endowed.
1. Self-Love
I’m not referring to the necessity for men with small penises to make love to themselves because they fear being rejected by partners. I’m referring to self-compassion.
When we recognize our inadequacies, yet are able to find something in ourselves worth loving, we come to a powerful place of acceptance and gratitude. At one point, I just told myself, “I love how small I am.” I learned that the only person who can truly make me feel inadequate was myself.
2. Ego Check
To overcompensate for my lack of girth, I’ve always projected a huge ego. I thought I was so cool in high school. All the music I listened to was not only the coolest music, but I had discovered it first. “Duran Duran. I was listening to them when they were just called Duran.”
When I was a surfer in college, I thought that anyone who didn’t surf was clueless. Even today, I catch myself looking at others with condescending thoughts of “you should meditate.” But whenever my ego gets too inflated, I back off because I know that my whole world could be shattered with the exposure of one pin-sized prick.
3. Great Sex
Forced to look beyond my ability to physically pleasure others, I discovered that great sex is about connecting with another human being. The genitals are just one of the many contact points. In the larger picture, the genitals are one of the least important points of contact.
When I look deeply into the eyes of my lovers and let them see who I really am, this connection overrides any physical pleasure. I was born wanting to love and be loved. Sex is just another vehicle for this search for love.
In our modern society, where survival of our species has nothing to do with procreation, giving and receiving love is the whole purpose of any human interaction, especially sex. If I satisfy another human being’s desire to be loved, the size of my penis will not even enter the picture.
4. Finding True Beauty
Beauty is a combination of things, not one thing in isolation. No matter how big a package one has, true beauty is born in integration. A large package with a bad attitude or a huge ego can be less attractive than a small package with a large heart or confident smile.
When I see my body in its entirety, I realize that everything fits together. My skinny legs and hairless chest are the perfect match for my penis size. I’ve finally realized that the people who are attracted to me almost expect my body proportions. Some may even be attracted to me because I am a perfect fit for them.
5. Becoming a Man
Having a small penis has taught me that manhood is not defined by what is between my legs. Instead, true manliness lies in the heart. When I interviewed Rick Hanson for the Compassionate Men Interview Series, he revealed that the word courage comes from the French word for heart—coeur.
Thanks to my small penis, I’ve learned that having the heart and courage to be vulnerable, authentic, and loving is what makes a “real man.”
Although some may see me as an object of ridicule, I can honestly say that I see myself as “half-man/half-amazing.”
—modified photo Matthew Straubmuller /Flickr Creative Commons
I always find it funny that these articles always have comments about the man being “sexy”, or “kind” etc., but that has little to do with sexual satisfaction. No one mentions how they get it. Also, this article doesn’t address the man’s pleasure with his small penis. If he doesn’t fit “tight”, it’s likely less pleasure for him, as well as the woman. I would just like more realness in the comments. I’ve been rejected in many ways, and a lot of them for my size. I’ll tell you, once a woman says she doesn’t feel you at all, it’s… Read more »
i would love to date a man with this sort of attitude. equipment doesn’t matter–what’s sexier by far is connection.
Connection is not only sexier, but also more human. I’m starting to see that connection is everything. Unfortunately, our society tells us that we should compete first then connect. So sad. Kozo
All the men who are unhappy about their “understanded equipment” should be encouraged by the many responses from female GMP readers (including the female editors) who have resoundingly said that it doesn’t really matter to them one way or the other.
I think you meant “understated equipment – but your point is well taken. Women today are all about accepting and even celebrating diversity in body types and shapes. It’s all good, it’s all sexy, it’s all perfect, just as it is. But – as with so many other issues that percolate in third wave feminism, you don’t see or hear much from them when it comes to men and men’s issues. GMP has a huge female readership – more women than men, from what I’ve read – and not one has stepped up to say how she wouldn’t choose men… Read more »
I completely agree with you, Mike, which is why I believe in men’s groups to deal with men’s oppression. Shame in men is deeply rooted (as Brene Brown admits in your book Daring Greatly). Robert Bly said it is so easy for opposite genders to shame each other. If you are in the Bay Area contact me if you want to join our men’s group. Kozo
I have no doubt that many women don’t care about size, but it is a societal shame that overwhelms men like me. I have had plenty of women tell me personally that they love me as I am, but “memories fade and the scars still linger.” It took a lot of self-compassion and courage to be able to reveal my true self. I hope this article helps others do the same. Kozo
A friend of mine rather jovially admitted to having, using the article’s phrasing, understated equipment. I thought he was kidding at first b/c humor was such a big part of our frienship- and I’m pretty gullible. He swore up and down it was true, and finally convinced me with this statement:: “Realizing you have a small penis is like realizing you’re dying. You have to go through all the stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.” We both laughed, …hard. He had accepted this fact about himself, and was truly ok with it. As much as I respected… Read more »
I agree that vulnerability leads to connection, CJ. I’m so glad your friend and you could share this powerful and funny moment. Everyone has a secret, and it is the same one–we are afraid that we aren’t what everyone expects us to be. Give your friend a hug from me. Kozo