Want To Ensure You and Your Partner Hold On to the Honeymoon Feeling?

In my younger years, there was an addictive feeling that I couldn’t resist from the high of a new romantic interest.

Getting to know someone’s quirks, the butterflies that come from that first kiss… all of it was incredibly exhilarating.

Yet time and time again, my romantic interests would end up following the same pattern. After six months to a year, the rose-colored glasses would fade, and there was never enough reason for me to stay.

Eventually, I realized that I was chasing that feeling at the beginning of a relationship and didn’t know how to adapt to… well, the reality that comes afterward.

Once I identified this pattern, I did a lot of self-work and identified why I didn’t want the reality of the honeymoon phase. Eventually, I met my now fiance and was able to cultivate a strong and healthy relationship.

That being said, I still get butterflies with my long-term partner… they aren’t quite the same intense ones they were initially. They’re a sweet flutter, and I wouldn’t trade them for anything.

Here are four ways that my partner and I ensure that our relationship continues to contain elements of the honeymoon phase even after years of being together.

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#1. We continually prioritize each other

My fiance is the most important person in my life.

Yes, I also make my friends and family a priority, but I also know that I have to continually put work into our relationship because this is the person that I want to spend the rest of my life with.

Because life can get so busy, we try to ensure that at least one weekend day is spent with each other, whether alone or doing fun activities with friends.

We normally don’t have time to talk throughout the day because of our busy schedules, so in the evenings, we try to spend at least an hour together to unwind and talk about our day.

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#2. We try to travel at least several times a year

When I was younger, I found myself dating several great men… but there was one thing that my relationship was lacking.

Neither of them ever wanted to travel and were homebodies.

The reality is that a love of travel is something that has been in my blood for as long as I can remember. Being with someone who shares that is incredible, as we can plan for at least one trip a year and travel together well.

If you and your partner can both have something to look forward to and that you enjoy together (it doesn’t need to be travel, it can be a common interest), your relationship will continue to have that spark of excitement.

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#3. We learned each other’s love language

This isn’t just something that is made up; learning each other’s love languages has been backed by science as far as it helping to keep couples in the honeymoon phase.

Both my fiance and I cherish quality time, but he also loves acts of service, which I struggle with because it’s not how I interpret love. That being said, it is something I have been able to improve on because he communicated how important it is to him.

Take the time to learn what makes your partner feel special and appreciated. Although it sounds straightforward, many couples miss the mark and continually spin their wheels doing things that aren’t received the way they want/intended.

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#4. We make it a point to be intimate even in tough times

When I’m stressed, I tend to shut down completely. A few months ago, my previous work environment had become so toxic that I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night because I was dreading the next morning so badly. During that time, it wasn’t that I didn’t want to be intimate. It simply wasn’t top of mind.

On the other hand, my fiance went through a situation several years ago where he was extremely stressed with work. During that time, we were still intimate. Still, we communicated how we were feeling and actually made it more of a point to be intimate even when it was hard to maintain that important part of our relationship.

There are moments when one of us truly is too exhausted, and that’s perfectly healthy as well, but we ensure that it doesn’t become a habit.

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The excitement doesn’t have to fade in your relationship

I’ll be candid and transparent with you.

There are days in life when things feel mundane, and even though I am in the happiest and most fulfilling relationship of my entire life, it can feel like we fall into a rut at times.

When that happens, I make it a point to communicate that we need to spice it up, and we figure out a way to do that… together.

Yes, even the happiest relationships take work, but the more time and investment that you put into your partner, the more you get out of it.

Who says that the butterflies ever have to fade? It’s been years and I still get them when I look at my person. Don’t settle for anything less than the butterflies, just know that at times they will ebb and flow.

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This post was previously published on Hello, Love.

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