Want To Impress Women? Be Awesome

Chivalry isn’t dead. It just went out for some beer… yeah, that’s it. Some women like it, and apparently some don’t, which I’ll never understand.

TIP: he’s not offering to help you because he thinks you’re incapable or he’s trying to control you. He’s offering to help you… because you look like you could use some help.

The list of things we say impress us sets the bar a little low. Like, appallingly low. What we’re calling “chivalrous” these days is really just common courtesy.

Things like “Taking my purse while I’m struggling to get my coat on or off” or “Carrying my heavy bag without me asking.”

Or when the famous comedian offered to drive me to my car late at night in Hollywood after his show so I wouldn’t have to walk alone. That act of basic human decency had me convinced he wanted to date me.

Spoiler Alert: he didn’t.

The fact the basics are being considered above and beyond is alarming. Holding the door open for a lady shouldn’t be your A-game, dude. You’re better than that.

Low standards are murder for guys. The general lameness of dudes is directly proportional to the tragically low expectations of women.

Let’s put an end this now.

Guys. Who cares if women’s standards have fallen? Impress yourselves.

Impressing women is a naturally occurring bi-product of actually being awesome. If you work toward awesomeness, and become more awesome, you’ll help raise the standards for all guys and contribute to the betterment of mankind.

Cool? OK, here’s how.

Deal With Yourself

If you’re not in therapy and have never been, you could use some. Trust me. We ALL could.

I don’t want to hear any of this “Uhhhh, why should I sit around and pay someone to talk about my feelings?” crap.

First of all, because your friends aren’t therapists.

Second, shut it. Admit you’re human and make a phone call.

Do you want to be awesome? Start figuring out why you’re not.

At the very least, keep a freakin’ journal. Seriously. It doesn’t have to be a shrink, but start talking to someone about why you are how you are.

Take Your Friendships Seriously

Especially the ones you’ve had for a long time. When you hit post-adolescence it’s your friends, really, who’re raising you. And you’re raising them, too. It’s a responsibility.

Oh yeah. Get some friends. You need them.

Karaoke, live music, the bar where other fans of your sports ball team hang out. Call up old friends you’ve lost touch with. Have a BBQ. Reconnect.

One thing that made me fall in love with my first boyfriend was watching him with his friends, how much fun they had and how much they cared about each other.

It’s sexy. Get on it.

Know Some Stuff

You don’t have to know everything, but know some stuff.

I’m not talking about geeking out on 80s pop culture trivia here (though by no means am I discouraging that, cuz I love that shit and I’d be jealous if you knew more than me. Call me, let’s go to trivia night.)

I’m saying take steps to cultivate your natural curiosity. Find some good podcasts and listen to them regularly. Seek out some blogs. PICK UP A BOOK.

Then the next time you’re having a drink with a woman you might actually be curious about what she’s interested in instead of just asking the same boring questions every other guy asks.

Become a Connoisseur

This one’s easy. Just refuse to eat bad food and drink bad beer all the time and you’re on your way.

However, and this is important: just because you know it doesn’t mean you should talk about it.

Taste is something you use. A women doesn’t care how many whiskey distilleries you can rattle off. That’s boring. But ordering her a drink that she’s never had before and LOVES? That’s cool.

Keep Moving Forward

This is the most important of all.

You got the job? You got the girl? That’s a good start.

When you stop impressing yourself you’ll find no one else is impressed by you either.

The more excited you are about your life, the more I’m interested in becoming a part of it.

Relax, yes. Enjoy yourself. But never stop striving to be more awesome.

Dude. You owe it to all of us.

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This post was previously published on Medium.

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