I am a mother of two incredible humans. My two year old girl gets, in my view, smarter and prettier every day. She is fully bilingual, very sassy and has the best laughter I’ve ever heard. My boy is almost one and last weekend he took his first steps. Straight into my arms, where he stayed for a few minutes while the whole family very excitedly celebrated, filmed and shared his new feat with every WhatsApp group we’re on.
After I held on to him for a few minutes and kissed him excitedly, my heart bursting with proud and nostalgia — my baby boy is no longer — a dark, overwhelming feeling took over me. At that very same moment, hundreds of thousands of mothers in Ukraine were seeking shelter from bombs, fleeing their homes, holding on to protect their babies and their little children and , most likely, lying to them, promising everything is going to be okay.
At that very same moment, while I hugged my kids and my husband in excitement, hundreds of thousands of other mothers, in Ukraine and Russia, were saying goodbye to their children, their now fully grown baby boys, watching them leave to join a war which ending no one can predict.
The thought of me being one of those mothers one day is almost too much to bear. It’s suffocating. As I watched women and children fleeing Ukraine, leaving their men behind, I kept thinking how on earth would I ever be able to breathe again.
I don’t know. And I really don’t want to know. But as I tried to fight these thoughts, I started weeping. My whole body ached for those mothers: for them, this kind of quiet, peaceful and joyous moments with their children are a thing of the past. At the same time, my tears were of relief and gratefulness for being able to hug my children, put them to bed and tuck them in that night.
My thoughts go out to all the mothers fighting for survival in Ukraine and around the world. All of my most positive, loving and endearing thoughts go out to them, because through paradise and hell, we never stop being mothers. That’s the most important thing that we are.
PS. Please consider supporting the people of Ukraine.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Shutterstock.com
