What Am I Grateful for at this Moment?

I feel a gentle vibration on my wrist, look down at my watch and on the question displayed on the screen;

WHAT AM I GRATEFUL FOR AT THIS VERY MOMENT?

I have set this reminder five times per day to remind me to pause and ask this simple but profound question.

It all started ten years ago when I worked the graveyard shift as a nurse in a homeless shelter.

These people had nothing, they were homeless, and most of them struggled with mental illnesses and addiction.

I had a home and a bed to sleep in; I was a father of two wonderful kids with whom I had a close relationship. Nevertheless, I lived in a prison of entitlement which created disappointment and frustration.

It would be a colossal understatement to say I recognize the goodness and the good things I had in my life.

I was deeply immersed in the materialistic culture, which encouraged a constant desire, and I truly believed material possessions to be the source of my happiness.

It was not the most suitable soil for cultivating gratitude.

I was losing my grip, something had to change fast.

One late night sitting in front of the computer at work, I came across an article by Robert Emmons, the world’s leading expert in gratitude.

For more than a decade, Robert and his team studied the effects of gratitude on physical health on biological well-being and their impact on relationships.

They studied thousands of people from ages 8 to 80 and found that practicing gratitude consistently leads to a host of physical, psychological, and social benefits.

What stuck with me that night and the following day was the part of the research that shows that our emotional systems like novelty and positive emotions wear off quickly.

Robert Emmons explained that we humans adapt to favorable life circumstances so that before too long, the new car, the new spouse, the new house — don’t feel so fresh and exciting anymore.

It felt like he was talking about me, and it hunted me for days.

This gratitude thing wouldn’t let me get back to business as usual.

Getting started

If gratitude could enable me to appreciate the value of something in my life and enjoy what I had, I was all in.

The year was 2010, and smartwatches were not a thing jet, so I started old school — with pen and paper.

In my first attempt, the initial question was more of a statement than a question.

I wrote down on a piece of paper;

Things I am grateful for…

My first attempts were not only terrible and awkward, but straight-up embarrassing.

All the things that I was grateful for were materialistic and made me painfully aware of the source of my suffering.

Stubborn as I am, I didn’t give up, and my answers got gradually better, which led to a new and improved question;

What am I grateful for at this moment?

This question changed my life for the better in more eras than I initially was able to identify.

I started to feel grateful for the good things in my life, expressing my gratitude to the people who made my life better — Adopting new emphatic behaviors as a result of my gratitude practice.

Cultivating gratitude

I have kept a journal to record the simple joys of everyday life for the last 11 years.

It never takes me more than 3–4 minutes. Despite the short amount of time I invest, the payoff is enormous and a powerful positive force in my life.
Gratitude is not a vague or meaningless concept.

Gratitude has a genuine impact on my physical health, emotional well-being, engagement, motivation, sense of belonging, and contribution to the world.

I have found some simple strategies to cultivate gratitude:

— I start each day by reflecting on all that I value and aspire to during the day, and before I turn off the light in the evening, I also reflect on all the things for which I am grateful.

— I write down “three wins or good things” — I identify three good things that have happened and why.

— I write letters or texts of thanks to others- most often I send them, sometimes I don’t.

— I let others know how grateful I am for their efforts and for them being a part of my life.

— I proactively think about who inspired me and which aspects of them I find most meaningful.

— I do “mental subtractions.” I imagine what my life would be like if the positive event had not happened.

Cultivating gratitude is one of the most powerful tools I use to working with mindfulness.

Finding my definition of gratitude

Cultivating gratitude requires that I get very clear and specific about my definition of gratitude.

Practicing gratitude is highly personal, and there is no “All size fits all” approach.

Gratitude goes far beyond thank you or receiving a gift.

I define gratitude as:

Gratitude is not something I do.

It’s a state of being.

It’s a force.

It is the awaking appreciation and Connecting to the flow of giving, receiving, and holding. It is the gift of life

Growing up, I was conditioned to think that gratitude was about appreciating a gift that I received.

Cultivating gratitude has been essential for my personal development and transformation. It has connected me to my mind, heart, and soul.

I didn’t realize the gift of life and how truly magical it is to live in gratitude for a long time.

For years I was feeding my attention garbage, and garbage was coming out.

My mindset was like a dysfunctional thermometer, not picking up the necessary changes in my environment.

Gratitude started and continues until this day to increase the meaning, value, and power that life provides me with every single day.

Where used to only see problems and challenges, I now see gratitude in all areas of life.

To live in gratitude is to shift from an ego perspective to a perspective of wholeness.

Today I’m no longer a victim of bad luck or hiding behind entitlement, disappointment and frustration.

Today I know that gratitude is mostly about giving and appreciating what’s already mine.

I am the creator of my reality, and I attract circumstances that match my internal state.

Takeaways

Being grateful has made me happier and more present — Gratitude is not wisdom I found on a bumper sticker, but backed up by 30 years of research on gratitude.

That are fully measurable on MRI scans and blood tests.

The benefits are undeniable, clear and well-documented in thousands of case studies.

Gratitude is both a momentary emotion and a dispositional trait.

In both instances, gratitude includes a process of :

1. Acknowledging that I have received a positive result
2. Give thanks to an outside source that I have obtained a favorable outcome.
4. Holding on to gratitude and living with it every day
5. Releasing it to the outside world, — sharing it with others

Research on emotion shows that positive emotions wear off quickly.

Gratitude enables me to participate more in life.

I find myself paying more attention to the positive, and that enhances the pleasant moments.

Most importantly, I noticed that I spend my time much better than I used to.

I no longer waste time watching movies I don’t remember the next day, mindlessly scrolling social media, or shopping online for things I don’t need to impress people that don’t care about me.

Living in gratitude has made me an active creator of my inner and outer life instead of a violated spectator.

I now live a life full of humility, gratitude, intellectual curiosity, and an unstoppable desire to continue learning.

The best of all is that appreciation has made what is excellent in others belong to me as well.

I am happy because I’m grateful. To be grateful is a choice, not a product of happiness.

It is gratitude that allows me to live a happy — NOT the other way around.

This is the 6th article in a series of 28 questions I ask myself to live a sustainable life.

I will be publishing one article each week for the next 22 weeks.

This post was previously published on medium.com.

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