What do you do
when a friendship ends?
Friendship is one of those commodities whose value greatly differs from person to person. And like all commodities that value is often based on supply & demand. For those to whom friendship comes easy, it can be seen as no big deal–something that just happens. Friendships come and friendships go and such is life.
But for others, friendship can be hard to find and once found feels as valuable as any truly rare and coveted object.
And the fact of this can make many friendships unequal, as a person from the first group makes friends with someone from the second. Both acknowledge the friendship, but they value it differently. Sometimes the mere awareness of this can doom the friendship even as it begins. This doesn’t mean much to one, but it sucks hard for the other.
At this point in my life, I have amassed a truly amazing group of friends that is far larger than I would have dreamed even just five years ago. Life can change fast and that change can be for the better as much as it can be for the worse. But for a really long time it was hard for me to make friends and because of this I tend to place a higher premium on the concept than many others.
That’s why I have often put up with changes in attitude and behaviour that would send most people running in the other direction. Especially if it involves someone who became a friend when I really needed one.
But even I have my limits. And when it gets to that point I always feel both a sense of deep sadness and relief. It’s not that much different than a romantic break-up. Sometimes it might even be a little worse.
And to deal with these emotions I think about all the things I have not lost. The friends who remain. And I remember how fate brought them into my lives and how fate will bring other special people to replace those who have gone.
Even so, it takes time to move on. At least for me.
Is ending a friendship easier for you? Or is it something you struggle with and avoid? How far will you go to hold onto a friendship that is clearly doomed? At what point do you know you have to say goodbye?