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10. The second Kennedy shooter on the grassy knoll. No other place I can imagine they would have hidden him. I hope they fed him. It’s been a minute.
9. Transgender civil rights protections. When the Trump administration takes them away, they have to put them somewhere. This is as good a place as any to store stuff. Like human rights and stuff.
8. My desire to go out and party with random people. I left it somewhere. Maybe all of our desires to go out and party with random people are there. Having a good time. Partying. Getting Laid. Getting Chlamydia. Partying.
7. Civility. It went somewhere. Or so I heard.
6. The Middle Class. All of it? All of it. I think I’m middle class, but I am deathly afraid of a dental bill, much like a poor person. I guess that’s the test. Wave a dentist’s card of front of someone. Did they start to sweat? Not the middle class. Whisper “dental implant.” They exploded.
5. Good solid original Hollywood ideas. I understand they are making a Love Boat movie? That is what they force people to watch in hell. The Love Boat movie, staring the two brothers on Frasier.
4. Common Sense. Probably like 20 or thirty tons of it in there. Area 51. Home of common sense. Like, maybe check where someone is from before telling them to go back there. Hell, it could be somewhere really nice. It could be here. If a person of color visited from A beautiful, star-kissed civilization where everyone has a pony, I feel like Trump would still call it a shithole. And you would say, “Wait, everyone there has a pony.” Still. Shithole.
3. Where was I? Oh, right. Ponies. I don’t have one. I don’t know anyone who has one. We all want one. No one has one. I think they are all there. Ponies.
2. Alf. I don’t believe they really carved him up. What a bummer of an ending. So post-post-modern. It’s like if they ended the E.T. Movie with E.T. being eaten by the neighbors. “Sorry, we thought he was a turtle.” They make soup out of turtles. That’s just mean.
1. The person who probably should be President.
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Related Video:
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Photo credit: By Tim1337 – Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0, Link
