TASK #35: WHAT I’VE LEARNED
“The beautiful thing about learning is that no one can take it away from you.” B.B.King
Dave Barry is a very funny, smart columnist, even though he’s from Florida, where the dumbass to smart person ration is about 50 to 1, the fifty being dumbasses. At any rate, he’s way smarter than me and probably smarter than any teacher I ever had, because I slept through school and partied through college.
Here’s what I’ve learned over the past 50 years…
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Many years ago Barry wrote down the “16 Things that Took Me Over 50 Years To Learn”. Here are a few of them, which are genius.
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. There is a very fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness”.
3. People who want to share their religious views with yoiu almost never want you to share yours with them.
4. Nobody cares if you can’t dance well, just dance.
5. Never lick a steak knife.
Here’s what I’ve learned over the past 50 years
1. If you wave at someone, they will usually wave back.
2. It may sound like a great idea to have a shot of schnapps as a final drink, but if you do, you will puke, pass out and probably do both in the county jail.
3. My parents were strict with me. I learned that I probably deserved it, and I’m secretly glad that they were.
4. I’ve learned that no matter where I’ve moved to, bad drivers have followed me there.
5. I’ve learned that “Yes” and “No” are perfectly acceptable answers to any question.
6. If a woman asks me, “do you think I’m fat”, she probably is, so I don’t say a fucking word.
7. I am not a mindreader.
8. Sometimes, no sense makes sense.
TASK
Write down on piece of paper: These are the things that took me ____ years to learn. Then write stuff down.
Photos by Joe Doe, and Marc Kleen on Unsplash