What to Say if You Spot the Man/Woman of Your Life on Vacation (App-Free Summer Edition)

Recently a reader commented on an article saying that although we all share tragic dating stories, ‘at least you are meeting people and dating’.

In reality, yes. It’s not the first time I hear this. Truth is, I am very outgoing and a risk taker, therefore meeting new people has always come quite naturally to me.

The ‘Crush Brain-Freeze’ phenomenon decoded

When it comes to meeting a stranger we even remotely consider to be cute, we pretty much all suffer from some form of what I like to call the ‘Crush Brain-Freeze’ phenomenon.

Quick quiz to see if you have it too:

· Your body goes into emergency mode, suddenly you forget how to walk properly, how to move in a human way, you may experience episodes of clumsiness or sudden bumping into objects that were large enough for you to spot with naked eyes

· Your brain begins to function differently and as you begin to slightly panic. Are you cute enough? You should have gone on that diet. Maybe you’ll see them again in a better scenario where you look cuter and there you may say something. Are they looking at me too?

· Instead of saying something, you do absolutely nothing. You know you may never see them again but like this, there, on the spot…what can you say?

Can you believe it? You talked about meeting someone this summer for ages yet when you spot someone you may be interested in you did nothing. Not a word came out of your mouth.

In an instant, that person is gone and you may never see them again. You know this, yet you froze anyways. We have all been there, especially now that we have just come out of Covid years, the years where you meet people on apps rather than in real life.

Do you even remember what it was like to meet people in real life? Or to be approached?

I’d like to share my acquired wisdom with you in the hopes that you may find a little extra magic in these summer days.

Summer is the perfect time to try, here’s how:

We all know summer and vacation are catalysts to falling in love, or at least to meeting some new people. Single people are out there looking for adventure and excitement, barriers down, they crave a spark. For some reason we seem less fearful in summer, we are more open to possibilities and also to failure in case it doesn’t work out in the end.

One starry summer night you are out in a club and a beautiful stranger begins to dance with you and before you know it, you are kissing the night away. Magic.

Or picture yourself sitting at the bar with you friends and someone sends over a drink just to have the chance to exchange a few words with you. Sweet.

Or even better, you are sitting next to someone on a flight, by the time you leave you know that it’s special, you exchange numbers and you begin to talk IRL.

Finding love in real life is so much more exciting, so much more thrilling if you know how to approach it.

Here’s the challenge: you cannot decide what to do or what to say at the exact moment in which you meet someone if you are shy or if you panic when you see someone you like. You need a plan, or at least the first few words to break the ice and turn regret into a potential meeting of someone special.

Your summer travel toolkit (aka THE PLAN):

What to do and say when you spot someone you like.

Every single method has been tested on the field.

1. On your way to the airport

on this part of the trip we typically don’t even think about meeting someone new, yet capturing these unexpected times can one of the best and easiest ideas to follow. For example, you spot someone cute on the Heathrow express, what can you do next?

The universal question: ‘I didn’t get a chance to see departure time, it’s supposed to be on time at xx, right?’ ‘Yes!’ ‘Oh thank you, I’ve been reading about all of these airport issues Im hoping Heathrow won’t be that bad at this time…’
If you are a woman you can start by asking for some help with your luggage followed by ‘Thank you so much. Where are you headed?’ (If you are a man, offer to help).
The train isn’t working: ‘I can’t believe the train isn’t working again, I may take an Uber. Would you like to share one to the airport?’

2. At the airport

Long cue: ‘Wow this feels eternal. I’m a bit worried about flight time but we should be ok.’ Wait for answer. ‘Where are you off to?’
Waiting for the same flight: ‘Excuse me, did you hear what the flight attendant just announced? I was listening to music…’ ‘’Nothing much, just general boarding announcement, we should be on time’ ‘Oh great. Thank you. Have you ever been to….’
In line to board: ‘I feel like I always pick the wrong line…’ you may attach some of the previous ice breakers.

3. On your flight ice-breakers

He or she is sitting next to you: a simple ‘hi’ and a smile should do to begin speaking.
Offer/ask for assistance for luggage.
If they are reading a book’: I’ve seen this book around so many times recently but have never read it. What is it about?’
‘Okay finally ready to depart. Do you go to xx often?’
‘I have a feeling we’ll get lucky and have an empty middle seat!’
‘I forget: do you know how long this flight it?’ ‘It’s a couple of hours’ ‘Ah thank you. Have you been to x before?’

4. On your flight bathroom/leg stretch break

(the person you like is not sitting next to you but you spot them in line for the restroom)

Go. ‘I needed to get up a minute.’ Smile. ‘I’m so glad this flight is on time, I took it a month ago and we had to wait 3 hours on board’. or ‘Do you fly to x often?’
‘What I would give for a proper coffee\g&t right now!’

5. Off the flight

Use the little bus, smile, make a comment about the weather and connect it to something more personal ‘Wow it’s so hot here. My friend I’m visiting said it got to 42 degrees last week…are you here for work or pleasure?’
If you are someone who runs as fast as they can to passport control and so is the other person ‘I didn’t think anyone could outrun me to passport control…’ smile. As you both run introduce yourself ‘Nice to meet you, Jack by the way’.
If you are both waiting for the luggage ‘I take so many flight and mine never comes out first!’ then connect it to business or pleasure.

6. On train/bus/taxi from the airport to where you are going

Ask/offer help with luggage, add comment ‘I’m thinking maybe I over-packed for a one week stay?’ ‘Thank you so much, always to nice to get back home (though I would have loved to stay in xx a bit longer). Do you live here?’
If you’ve never been to this place ‘I’m so excited to visit xxx, have you been here before?’

Congratulations, you have now arrived at your new destination. If you were sleepy on your flight, on your way to your flight or to your destination or if you simply didn’t spot anyone you like, don’t panic:

7. At your new hotel

Large hotel lobby: ‘Excuse me, have you seen a girl/guy with blonde hair walking around looking a bit lost? Haha, I think I’m the one who lost their friend’ or ‘What a beautiful hotel, I hope the rooms are as beautiful as this entrance’ or compliment something of theirs ‘I love those sneakers’ (choose something that they are wearing but that doesn’t have anything to do with telling them their body looks nice. It could even simply be their luggage, you don’t want to come off looking like a creeper).
Small hotel entrance or terrace: ‘This place looks so cute. Have you just arrived?’’Yes/no’ ‘I can’t want to go out there and explore, we got here today, anything you would recommend so far?’ or ‘Us too! We can’t wait to explore. How many days are you staying?’ or ‘We got here a couple of days ago, you should definitely try this Greek restaurant around the corner, we went yesterday and it was to die for’

8. At the beach

One to one ‘hey’ is all you need. Go swim at the same time. Look over, smile.
‘Wait! Oh sorry, I thought you were my friend he/she has such a similar bathing suit on yesterday.
If it’s a group — ‘save me please my friends…’ Extra tip: don’t let your friend go for you. Take charge. The one who takes charge usually gets the person.
Guess the nationality, especially if you’re abroad.

9. At aperitivo- at the bar

Look over. Smile. If you want, raise your glass as to cheer from afar. Let them do the next move.
Bump into them ‘accidentally’. ‘I’m so sorry’.
‘Okay this is going to sound weird. You look like that actor…has anyone ever told you that? Wait I can’t think of the name.’
Very simple and direct. ‘You look beautiful.’
Also simple and direct ‘nice to meet you.’
Last simple and direct ‘Would you like to join me for a drink?’ or send one.

10. At dinner

This scenario is easiest. Enquire about their favorite book, films, take on a topic that’s at the table. Ask tips on the vacation spot you are at, if they’d be down to show you in person. Smile. Don’t be the loudest, be you as you are. If you can, speak with a low tone of voice, just to them.

If you didn’t get to go on vacation

There are two secrets to people approaching you. I have always had very hot girlfriends, often I felt, much more beautiful than I was, yet most of the time, people speak to me in the group. Guys come up to me. What’s the secret?

You have two secret weapons: your eyes, and a smile.

Very simply put, your eyes say ‘I see you’, your smile says ‘hello’.

A genuine, real life, beautiful smile that welcomes someone new in your life with no sense of judgment or rudeness if approached. Remember that whoever approaches you is taking on some level the risk of rejection. It is never easy. Also, that person may not be an interesting romantic partner but they could be someone interesting in a completely different way.

Be warm, be kind, be like you would want someone to be with you if you were in their shoes.