
I was twelve when Bad Ronald first aired. American TV network ABC played it as an afterschool special—a ninety-minute movie aimed at tweens like me. They loaded it with commercials selling cereals and toys and other TV shows I might watch later that night. I can’t remember the specifics, but I imagine a frigid January day, scant daylight remaining after school. Me, lying on our shag-carpet, my head supported by the tripod of being propped up on my elbows. My mother telling me repeatedly to get outside and play.
I always wondered why the family didn’t notice the dead space behind the walls. When I moved into my house, I quickly noticed that the area above the slanted ceiling of our basement stairs was unaccounted for inside the house. There was an empty cavity between our dining room and our garage. An enclosed room that might harbor a family of possums or a skeleton stashed away when my house was built in 1962 or a bad teenage boy on the lam from the law.
Today, Eli and I ripped up the floorboards in the attic to access this space. Our house came with a light fixture facing out front from the garage. The bulb, a strange fluorescent job with a weird socket, was burned out when we moved in eighteen years ago. Recently, I decided to finally replace the bulb. To be honest, I was somewhat shocked that Lowes had this bulb for sale. The shake-up in lighting regulations over the past twenty years, from incandescent to fluorescents to LEDs, made me doubt I would find such a unique bulb anywhere but the internet, if that. When I snapped it in the fixture, it immediately lit up. And I couldn’t figure out how to turn it off.
Tracing the wire, I found it connected to our radon exhaust fan. I’ll skip the long description of radon. It’s a gas, it kills you, so you don’t want it in your home. The fan stays on all the time. Eli and I decided to give the light a switch of its own. We chose the garage wall backing up to the dead space above our stairs. We thought that would be the easiest place to run the wire.
As we pulled up the floor boards, we joked about what we might find beneath. A box of rare coins; a pentagram painted on the wall; a stash of guns; a mummified corpse. Peering into the hole with our flashlights, what we found was two small cardboard boxes labeled “Handpainted Mobiles by IRMI.” Eli lowered himself into the hole and passed up the boxes. I opened the boxes and shined my flashlight on the contents.
Our wiring worked. It was the sort of job that I can handle, but Eli is far more nimble than I am. When I was Eli’s age, I passed my dad the tools and held the flashlight. Today, I hold the tools and flashlight once again while Eli confidently does the work. I wish we found something cooler in the dead space. Not a corpse, but maybe a suitcase of stolen loot or even a newspaper from 1962—the year I was born. At least I know what’s in that space now. Over the past eighteen years, I often imagined Ronald in there watching me through a tiny hole.
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Previously Published on jefftcann.com and is republished on Medium.
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Photo credit: iStock
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Internal image courtesy of author