What Would Your Life Be Without Memory?

WHO ARE YOU?

Be honest. Who are you?

Did you decide who you are?

Did someone else tell you who you are?

Think about it.

What is memory? If you think about it memory is a conversation. Memory is a self-conversation. Depending on your mood you either talk yourself up or talk yourself down.

Depression and happiness are inside.

No one can depress you. No one can fill you with joy. I’m not talking about people with hormonal issues so spare me the disagreement. I’m talking about healthy people. Healthy or not your feelings are owned by YOU. Oxytocin, Dopamine, Endorphins and Cortisol flow through YOUR body.

Your feelings don’t flow through anyone else.

Take ownership. Take charge. Don’t let someone take your stuff.

How do you know you are not gaslighting yourself?

As it turns out gaslighting yourself is common.

HOW ACCURATE IS OUR MEMORY REALLY?

Researchers at the University of Pennsylvania asked 74 participants to recall as many details as possible about a certain event they’d all previously experienced. They asked after two days and then several months. Researchers wanted to know exactly what happened, and the details of the event.

Surprisingly what went down with time was not accuracy.

What goes down over time was is number of events people remember not the accuracy of the memories.

Basically, what people remembered was about 93% accurate. Over time some things were completely forgotten but what was remembered remained pretty accurate.

That’s interesting.

Many of us forget things. The things we remember are pretty accurate.

What goes down over time is the number of events people remember not the accuracy of the memories.

Of course, this study didn’t factor in traumatic events. It was just a good time at an art gallery. Results can be different if we put in other variables.

Another study published in the National Institute for Health (NIH) studied people with trauma.

The NIH published study compared people diagnosed with PTSD and individuals who had trauma without PTSD. The study found both groups had no less incoherent memories. This was a study which compared details about trauma from happy moments within a year from trauma.

WE REMEMBER RIGHT DON’T LET OTHERS TELL YOU WRONG

We are a social creature. We thrive on relationships. My career as a Professional Hustler is based on relationships.

Every save I have is because someone cared to reach out.

Every abandonment I have is because someone decided to withhold a hand.

I remember who was there for me and who wasn’t. Period.

There can be no individual success in any human accomplishment. There can be no individual failure in any human blunder.

A boxer who knocks out an opponent must have a coach. Every golfer who sinks a hole in one must have a golf caddie. A millionaire who made a million dollars did it with others.

We often compromise our memories. We do this for ego. Sometimes we do this out of insecurities. We compromise often. We gaslight ourselves often.

MY PERSONAL GASLIGHT OFFENSE AGAINST ME

An example of a personal gaslight involved a woman from my past. I loved her very much. She wanted me to forget a very important fact. I was unsure if she was pregnant with my child because she had overlapping partners.

When her pregnancy test came back it showed a pregnancy date two weeks before we were intimate. She admitted to having another partner. We just decided to come back together after a long break. I could not punish her for actions she did before we came back together. I was distraught. I was crushed. If the child wasn’t mine I could not be with her. It ate at me inside. My instictive reaction was to seek another woman’s validation.

She turned a memory of growth into a tool for her to leverage herself on me. She needed me to feel guilt not growth.

She needed me to believe I was selfishly cheating on her by going out on a date with another woman. It didn’t matter about the pregancy situation. It didn’t matter if we didn’t kiss. It didn’t matter if we didn’t sleep together. It didn’t matter if we didn’t hold hands. She needed me to remember this memory as a selfish one where I was just playing the field.

My actions were a mistake on many levels but forcing me to forget a key element was a form of gaslighting my memory.

My emotional attachment to her made me dismiss my own memory.

A memory which, per the studies (assuming I have no mental conditions), was probably about 93% accurate.

I gaslighted myself.

WE MUST STOP GASLIGHTING OURSELVES

Memory is everything. Memory is who you are. When you forget who you were you forget who you are.

Living in the past is really living in the present. The statement, “Stop living in the past,” is contradictory in nature.

We are all living in the past.

The better statement is, “Stop using the past to ruin the present.”

We must rely on our past to build a better present. Who we become will be defined by our memories. We make memories today not yesterday.

Without memories we are nothing.

MEMORIES ARE PAST, PRESENT & FUTURE

Memories are history. They say those who refuse to study history are destined to repeat it. This applies to you as much as it does them. For if you cannot study your own history you are destined to repeat it.

Worse, to deny your history is to deny yourself.

Next time someone tells you, “What you remember was wrong!” make sure you tell yourself, “It’s about 93% accurate.” I choose to remember my history accurately. In this way I am destined to never repeat it.

As a good friend of mine said to inspire this article, “B Steel if you want to C Progress”. I cover how to master this behavior in my international best-selling book, “I Made It Then I Didn’t”. If this struck a chord with you check it out to learn my approaches.

To your knowledge success!

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Not a form of investment advice. Please consult a professional registered to give you advice about your individual circumstance. This article is for educational purposes and entertainment purposes only. Please do not email the author about advice on investing or strategies on making investments.

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About Christopher: Christopher Knight Lopez is a Professional Hustler turned International Best Seller and Published Author of “I Made It Then I Didn’t”. Christopher has opened over 7 businesses in his 15-year career. Christopher’s purpose is to take advantage of various market-driven opportunities. Christopher is a certified Master Project Manager (MPM), and Accredited Financial Analyst (AFA). Christopher previously held his Series 65 securities license examination and was a Master Financial Planner (MFP). Christopher also held his General Lines — Life, Accident, Health & HMO. Christopher has managed a combined 286mm USD in reported Assets Under Management & Assets Under Advisement. Christopher has work experience in 33 countries, raised over 50mm USD for various businesses, and grossed over 13.0mm in his personal career. Christopher worked in the highly technical industries of: biotechnology, finance, securities, manufacturing, real estate, and residential mortgages. Christopher is a United States Air Force Veteran. Christopher has a passion for family, competitive sports, fishing, martial arts and advocacy for entrepreneurs. Christopher provides self-help classes for up-and-coming entrepreneurs. Christopher’s passion to mentor comes from belief that entrepreneurs need guidance. The world is full of conflicting information about entrepreneur identity. See more at www.christopherklopez.com.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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