What’s Your ‘Hard Line’ in Adultery?

The start.

Two years ago, I started this venture due to my very, very, very, very…did I say very? Very dead bedroom. It was a pattern I discovered my partner had with all his relationships. He finally admitted his asexuality as he went back to playing his video games, and I went back to masturbating fervently.

My esteem was low and my impulse hiiiiiigh. I almost fucked my therapist, mechanic, and shroom guy…but I resisted that not-so-holy trinity and ran to Reddit instead. I had some good pAP meetups, but the chemistry, unfortunately, wasn’t strong enough. I stopped looking for an AP and focused on my hobbies and friendships until someone in the wild sat in front of me.

— –

The magic.

We locked eyes on the subway, like a fucking Hallmark movie. It was an entrancing connection; a meet-cute that would ensure we would both be on the naughty list that year.

We refused to let the moment pass.

It was filled with laughter and a sexual tension that shook my core and blurred the passengers around us.

From that point on, our energy fit like puzzle pieces, and the communication always felt candid…until our last meetup.

— –

The lie.

He got a new job near the airport, so we decided to try our first car experience on my way back from traveling. I’m blissfully riding him in the backseat (yeehaaaaw)…but while I lean in to wrap my arms around him, I end up smacking a car seat that was tossed in the back.

“I’m babysitting”, he blurted out as he tried to distract me with kisses. He knew pregnancy/newborns were my one deal breaker.

I wanted to believe him, but coincidentally, I had a dream that his wife had a baby a few months prior. Though I typically don’t take my dreams literally, my spidey senses were saying otherwise.

— –

The baby.

For OPSEC reasons, I don’t share my socials, but he was an exception because the bond felt different than the others.

“Guooorl, don’t do it”, I told myself as I opened his Instagram.

I did it.

Hmm, no new posts. Something told me to check his tagged photos…*le sigh*

I was so, so happy for them! I swear, I was…I am.

— –

The end.

It’s just…I know it may come off as dramatic, but I didn’t/don’t want to be a distraction while he learns how to be a dad (especially the first year with his first child).

Thankfully, we didn’t get caught during the pregnancy; I would have loathed being an added source of stress during that time. The butterflies have turned to nausea, knowing it was a possibility that I was unaware of, my one boundary.

As of now, we’re still in contact, but I really want him to focus on his family.

Maybe we’ll reconnect down the line, except for now, this is my stop.

This lady on r/adultery had her line in the sand.
It was one of mine, too.

Men with young babies at home hit me up when I was looking. The smart ones would lie about it. The dumb ones would admit they’d need to be on parenting duty.

“No bueno,” I’d reply. “That’s too dastardly even for me. How can you live with yourself?”

“You know this happens all the time,” he’d explain.
”Yeah, but I don’t need to take part in it.”

It was my line in the adultery quicksand. He could find someone else willing to do the limbo under that moral threshold.

I wasn’t.

Thanks to u/kerasineworld for her post. It was beautifully written and made me want to reach out and thank her for sharing.

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