Sometimes, people are blinded by their own desires. They mistake lust for love and think they can’t live without someone.
Sometimes, people fool themselves. They pretend not to see their partner’s annoyance and dislike, thinking their partner must love them.
But you need to understand that you can’t hold onto someone who wants to leave, you can’t wake someone who’s pretending to sleep, and you can’t make someone love you if they don’t.
If a man truly loves you, he won’t say anything mean to you.
Sarah has been dating her boyfriend for five years. To others, she seems like a lucky woman. She has a stable job, a good family, and a great boyfriend.
But only Sarah knows how good she actually feels.
Everyone says that after six months to a year of dating, couples enter a period of adjustment. Sarah didn’t expect her adjustment period to be so long. It’s been almost four years.
During those four years, she and her boyfriend have fought countless times. It was a real fight, not just Sarah talking to herself. They both fought back.
Once, during an argument, her boyfriend even called Sarah a “slut.” This made Sarah decide to break up with him.
But then, after her boyfriend begged her, she couldn’t help but get back together with him. She loved him, really loved him, so she was willing to spend five years of her life with him. Did he love her the same way?
Sarah was once certain that he loved her. She believed that they would have a happy ending. But now, Sarah is starting to doubt it.
Just last week, they had a huge fight again. Sarah doesn’t remember what it was about, but she remembers her boyfriend’s angry face, his mean words, how he called her “controlling,” “dramatic,” and “a servant with a princess’s attitude.”
Even though he didn’t use the same bad words from before, these words felt like knives, stabbing her heart.
Sarah is tired, really tired. She’s almost 30 and wants to get married. She craves a marriage. But the way things are with her boyfriend, they could never get married.
She doesn’t want to keep fighting with him. She’s tired of it. Does he really love her?
Maybe he did, but he doesn’t anymore.
People who have loved or who still love understand that the most important thing is to love the other person. So no matter what happens, they wouldn’t hurt their loved one.
Seeing their loved one sad and upset makes their own hearts feel the same sadness and pain.
So when her boyfriend repeatedly used his mean words to hurt Sarah, he not only succeeded in releasing his anger, but he also deeply hurt her.
If he truly loved her, how could he be so unmoved by seeing her hurt so much?
Just like Sarah, she never said anything harsh to her boyfriend, afraid of hurting him. But now it seems her efforts were in vain.
In any relationship, there will be bumps along the way. You’ll make each other angry. During these adjustments, everyone has their own boundaries. They know what they can do and what they can’t, what they can say and what they can’t.
Kind words warm you in the coldest winter, while harsh words can hurt you even in the hottest summer. Often, the words that seem to have the least weight have the most powerful effect.
Just like online bullying, it’s the constant piling on of words that causes the most damage to the victim. It can even be too much for them to handle, leading them to leave this world. Never underestimate the power of language.
On the other hand, love can be expressed through words. “I love you,” “I like you,” these words make people feel happy.
But when they turn into “Can you stop being dramatic?” “It’s all your fault,” “You’re just being unreasonable,” they only make people feel wronged, turning their sadness into tears of feeling misunderstood.
Especially when it comes from someone you love deeply, this sadness can multiply, causing unbearable pain.
There’s only one reason why a man would disregard your feelings and freely vent his frustrations, regardless of the consequences: he doesn’t love you that much, at least not as much as you think.
The depth of a man’s love will control his daily behavior. If he truly loves someone, he will become cautious, afraid of losing them.
So whether it’s speaking or acting, he will always consider your feelings and use them as a guide.
When you see the truth, don’t be too sad. No one says love has to last forever. You can fall out of love.
The world is already hard enough on you. Don’t make it harder on yourself. Don’t let someone who doesn’t love you bother you. Love yourself.
Actually, loving yourself is the most important thing. In this world, often only you care about your thoughts and feelings. The only person who can truly make you happy is yourself.
Instead of being sad about someone who doesn’t love you, love yourself. Make yourself happy and enjoy your life. You can still have a happy life.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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