Why Are We Not Allowed to Cry?

I have often heard people say the words, “Don’t cry.”

I know it’s a knee-jerk reaction to someone being in pain, a way to say it’s going to be okay, perhaps.

I have to admit that I am guilty of saying those words myself.

In a panic and at a loss for words, those two seem to slip out more easily than anything that might actually be helpful.

The problem with that is that when a person is crying, it’s because their body needed that release, and saying those words to them can make them feel like they’re doing something wrong by crying.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying we should all walk around sobbing and forsaking all of the things we’re required to accomplish in a day.

But there is a place for tears.

A place has to be made for them, so we don’t drown in a sea of misery of our own making.

Whether it’s a kiddo crying over a horrid test result or a momma crying over the death of her child, if their body needs to shed tears over it, they need to let them flow.

Why not try out the words, “I’m here if I can help, and I love you” in place of “Don’t cry”?

How much nicer the world would be, and how much happier we might all feel, if we weren’t all so ashamed to show our emotions.

It’s okay to cry.

The loss of a loved one hurts, and crying is a normal reaction to that, even if it’s over a memory that strikes you years later.

“Grief is the price we pay for love.” — Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II

Failing at something we wanted badly to succeed at hurts too, and shedding tears before you pull yourself up and try again is perfectly acceptable.

We often want people to stop crying because it hurts us to see them cry, or even because it embarrasses us. We may feel ill-equipped to deal with their emotions, perhaps because we never let ourselves tune in to our own.

But when you have a good cry, you often feel better after the fact, so perhaps we should all practice things to say in place of stripping them of their right to mourn whatever loss inspired their tears.

It’s okay to cry.

It’s okay to show emotion.

It’s okay to not be okay.

We should all love each other through our entire range of emotions.

Happiness is not the only emotion that should be welcomed to the table.

I’m here, and I care. Let me know if I can help.

Love and peace, y’all. ❤

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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