It’s common for people to feel hurt or angry after a breakup. Part of the reason might be that your ex still has lingering feelings of resentment towards you. He might be feeling hurt and upset about the fact that things didn’t work out between you two, and so he wants to see you fail in order to punish you for those feelings. He is still hurt by your previous relationship. This hurts both his self-esteem and his confidence in himself and so he deals with these feelings by trying to hurt you back. He may also be doing this out of jealousy, as he doesn’t want to see you happy without him.
And there are also some people who simply enjoy seeing others fail and take pleasure in watching chaos and distress unfold.
It usually means that the ex is still very much holding onto the relationship internally. They may have moved on externally, but they probably haven’t dealt with their own emotions properly toward the relationship. And so, they do things to show you that they still have power over you and want to hurt you. It’s more of a reflection of their inner struggle than anything else.
Seeing their ex-partner fail may provide some men with a sense of satisfaction. Another reason could be that he wants to feel superior to you, and so he’s hoping that you’ll fail in your life in order to boost his own ego and sense of importance.
However, it’s important to note that this behavior is not healthy or productive. It’s a sign of emotional immaturity and a lack of empathy for the other person’s well-being.
If your ex is actively trying to see you fail, it’s best to avoid engaging with them and focus on your own personal growth and success. It’s important to surround yourself with positive and supportive people who will uplift and encourage you.
Remember, your success is not dependent on your ex’s approval or validation. You have the power to define your own path and create a fulfilling life for yourself, regardless of their opinions or actions.
Here are a few examples to illustrate this point:
Example 1
After a breakup, Mary’s ex-boyfriend Alex constantly belittles her accomplishments and wishes her ill-will. Despite this, Mary continues to focus on her goals and eventually lands her dream job. Instead of feeling happy for her, Alex tries to downplay her success and makes snide comments about how she “got lucky.” Mary recognizes that Alex’s behavior is toxic and decides to cut off all contact with him.
Example 2
Jenny’s ex-boyfriend Mike seems to take pleasure in her failures and setbacks. Whenever she faces a setback or struggles with something, he is quick to point it out and make her feel bad. However, Jenny refuses to let Mike’s negativity get to her. She surrounds herself with supportive friends and family members who encourage her to keep pushing forward. Despite Mike’s attempts to bring her down, Jenny perseveres and eventually achieves her goals.
It’s hard to know exactly someone else’s motivations for doing bad things. However, it’s important to remember that your ex’s motivations are not your responsibility. You deserve to focus on your goals and well-being, regardless of what your ex wants. It may be helpful to surround yourself with supportive friends and family, and to seek out professional support if needed, to help you navigate this difficult situation.
Ultimately, you can’t control your ex’s actions or motivations, but you can choose how you respond to them. Remember to prioritize your own growth and happiness, and don’t let their negativity hold you back. Keep striving towards your goals and know that you are capable of success, regardless of what your ex may want.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Yayan Sugantina on Unsplash
