Why Failure Should Never Deter Us From Our Dreams

Sometimes life is about risking everything for a dream no one can see but you

I am no stranger to failure. In 2013, when my life hit rock bottom, I physically felt the discomfort of failure’s presence, accompanied by feelings of hopelessness, and total defeat. There are less than a handful of people in my life that can truly attest to the misery I endured during those dark hours. But it was also during that time when I first gained clarity of how I wanted my life to look. Even if in those moments I couldn’t yet vividly depict what I would do to get there, I knew for sure what I didn’t want.

I didn’t want to be stuck behind a desk for the rest of my life pushing papers in modern day corporate America, even if it allowed me to pay the bills. I didn’t want to suppress my talents, intellect and an insatiable desire to help others. And, more importantly, I didn’t want to be remembered as the person who suppressed their talent, intellect and capabilities through settling for the easy route.

It was shortly after I said the words aloud “there has to be more” when I landed a job in medicine. It was here where I found my calling to become a nurse. Although writing was, and still is, the heart and soul of my creative passions, it is a G-d given calling to make a difference in people’s lives that fueled my decision. After all, jumping on people’s chest for a living is not for the faint-hearted.

But little did I know at the time that my past college life would haunt me, and lead to five letters of rejection from different schools throughout the years. Each letter representing a new tier of devastation. The only thing each of those letters were missing were watermarked stamps that read: you’re not good enough, your grades aren’t strong, your story doesn’t matter, your experience is a joke compared to the thousands of applicants before you who knew this was their calling at fifteen years old, not twenty-eight.

Translation: You. Don’t. Have. What. It. Takes.

Perhaps the worst part was having to break the news to other people, and look the world in the eye to say, “No, not this time”.

But, yet, these letters weren’t enough to break my spirit, or force me to quit. I stayed in the game, and each time got back on the horse. For every no and closed door I had shut in my face, I saw a new window of opportunity, another school, a different program, and even relocating, if necessary.

I re-enrolled to repeat all of my course work and surprisingly enough, went from a C average student in my eighteen-year old naive college days to a straight A student in my adult years. My academic life finally had a second chance. On a personal level, I had 50% of the naysayers in my corner telling me how I gave it my best shot and that it was time to move on and find a new profession. Or, “wasn’t I sick of having to do this all over again?” Contrary to the naysayers were the optimists, such as myself. These were the people who saw my journey through, day after day, and year after year ensuring that I never once dropped the ball. My childhood best friend being one of them, reminding me that I am not defined by my failure, in fact, it wasn’t even a real failure, but instead, only a setback.

I am a strong believer that if you knock on enough doors, eventually, one will open. It is the basic laws of probability that cannot be argued.

I haven’t allowed failure to influence giving up on my dream, I just found a different route to get there. There is a great line from the movie A League of Their Own when Geena Davis’s character says to Tom Hanks, “I quit, because it just got too hard”, and he says “if it weren’t hard everyone would do it. The hard is what makes it great”.

The feelings of defeat are usually contingent upon our dreams not coming true on our timeline. But if we allow ourselves the liberation, and aliveness in being able to keep trying for that dream, that feeling of failure will seize to exist.

What I’ve learned from failure is that it doesn’t define us, or break us, it only makes us — greater.

Because I love trying more than failing. I would rather fail than look back and have a life of regret knowing I could have been more, or done more. Today, as I continue my studies and applications, I have found holistic methods of ensuring my success. There are three framed quotes which I keep visible on my desk at all times.

To do list: Whatever It Takes.

Fall seven times, and stand up eight.

Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.

These are the mantras I live by, even on days when that scared inner voice still creeps up and tries to convince me otherwise. And while my fate is still undecided, I am fully confident in my perseverance, determination, passion, and ambitions that have guided the way to bring me this far.

It is my hope that all of you will learn to look failure in the eye and give it a warm embrace. Let it teach you. Let it inspire you. Let it speak to you. Be ready to listen so you know what to do different, or better the next time. Allow it to fuel your dreams and lead you to greatness.

And even if no one else can see that dream but you, it is still worth risking everything.