Why ‘Focus on You’ Isn’t Independence

Today, for the first time, I felt especially clearly what it actually means to put yourself at the center of your own life.

Before this, I had heard and read a lot about it.

I even thought I knew what it felt like.

But today, another missing piece of the puzzle finally fell into place.

Over the past six months, I have written a lot about inner union.

I came to realize that it has many layers.

Awareness doesn’t happen in one beautiful moment when you open your eyes in the morning and suddenly understand everything.

And it doesn’t happen in the moment when someone pushes you to your breaking point,

testing your boundaries and touching your deepest wounds.

No.

All of these things are important parts of the journey, but they are not inner union itself.

They are the path toward it.

Every situation that throws you off balance, even one that completely shatters your illusions, happens for a reason.

And with every such situation, it becomes a little easier to choose yourself.

You don’t become indifferent.You simply begin to look at the situation from the outside.

At first, you step aside.

Then it feels as though you’re watching through glass while someone is trying to trigger you, completely unaware that you’ve already outgrown this version of yourself.

And then the glass becomes thicker.

It almost becomes frosted.

Eventually, you don’t even look through it anymore.

You become so emotionally distant from what is happening on the other side that, no matter what happens there, it can no longer affect what you have chosen for yourself.

This is not,

Because you may still care.

You may see something unfair.

You may feel anger or disappointment.

You may even think:

But none of it changes the direction of your life anymore.

You finally allow yourself not to save people when they are being deceived.

Not to save situations even when you can see a way out.

Because, in the end, if people allow themselves to be deceived, perhaps that is an experience they are meant to have.

A lesson they have to learn for themselves.

Let everyone encounter their own reality to the extent that they are ready to see it.

Whenever I started interfering, trying to fix things, trying to help people who had been deceived, the situation only became worse.

And whenever I stepped away from it, doors started opening for me.

Eventually, there comes a moment when you stop looking to the outside world for permission to continue living your own reality.

One day, I simply stopped being interested in checking my feed or waiting for some new piece of information.

Because I reached a place where, whatever happened, whatever people said about me, whatever review someone wrote about my work, none of it could change my decision to keep doing what I love and what I want to do.

A bad publication — nothing changes.

A good publication — nothing changes either.

Someone’s approval — nice.

Someone’s rejection — that’s okay. I can’t please everyone.

Especially because my writing style is very particular.

My poetic rhythm is closer to free verse.

Some editors see it as repetition, while others don’t ask me to change anything at all.

Someone telling me I can’t do something — that changes nothing for me.

I will still do what I love.

Someone coming back — that changes nothing.

I will build my reality regardless of who is beside me.

Someone disappearing — that changes nothing either.