Love is a powerful emotion. If can change your life.
Compared to love, what is respect? Respect is an attitude but it won’t move mountains. It doesn’t shake your world or capture your emotions.
However, respect is actually the foundation for long lasting love.
Because love is not best expressed by emotion, but by action.
Like ocean waves, emotions ebb and flow.
Respect is there regardless.
I think of respect as the steady state around which the variable state of emotions move. If love was a circuit diagram, then respect is a steady level around which love travels.
Yes, I’m a geek.
Hey, geeks can love too.
I published a story a while back about how you should let your partner keep pictures of their ex:
It’s very disrespectful to ask a partner to erase portions of their life.
Love may react emotionally, impulsively, asking for something selfish without thinking. Respect soberly steps in, however, and puts the brake on the this kind of thing.
Respect takes a step back. It understand boundaries and autonomy.
What happens if your partner tells you he or she wants to go to a conference for work and needs you to watch the kids for a few days? Or if he or she wants to go for a weekend with good friends?
Love may want to cling. After all, emotionally, one will miss a beloved partner.
Respect understands that sometimes partners need time apart in order to grow.
Love reacts to change. Respect accepts that while growth can sometimes hurt, it’s necessary if partners are to become the best they can be.
My father died over a decade ago. My mother still misses him. They were still in love after 40 years of marriage. He was still singing her love songs.
When my father was dying, my mother didn’t want him to leave her. She clung to him because she loved him so much. Then she realized he was only holding on for her. He was in a lot of pain. He was suffering for her sake, because he didn’t want to leave her alone. She told him it was OK for him to go, that she was setting him free. He died a few minutes later.
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I am fighting stage IV cancer. If you can help with medical bills, I would really appreciate it. Or if you enjoy my writing and would like to buy me a cup of coffee, that’s great too. Maybe someday I can return the favor.
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This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.
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