Why We Need to Stop Romanticizing ‘Toxic Positivity’

In modern society, positivity has been known to be the ultimate conduct. People’s timelines are filled with motivational quotes, affirmations that only positive energy shares, and the constant demand to be happy. While staying optimistic and looking on the bright side can be helpful, there’s a darker side to this seemingly uplifting narrative: toxic positivity.

Toxic positivity is the idea that everyone can and should be positive no matter how grim things may get. That is the very tendency to deny the feelings that are negative while concentrating only on the positive consequences.

In the first instance, this attitude appears quite innocuous perhaps even good-natured. However, when pursued without restraint it can harm not only our body but also our stature of mind and character. Here’s why it’s time we quit glorifying toxic positivity and begin to accept all human emotions.

It Invalidates Real Feelings

Another bad thing about toxic positivity is that it denies genuine feelings. People sometimes when they are struggling or struggling with something, which they hear people say to stay positive or better still to look at the positive side of it — reduces their ordeal tremendously. This makes people to feel that they are alone in experiencing that emotion and they become guilty of having such thoughts.

Life is always complicated, and people have to face problems and difficulties. It is normal to feel sad or angry, scared or frustrated when in such situations. If we don’t learn how to embrace or at least acknowledge these feelings, so we can let go of them properly we hold these feelings in their toxic state. Everyone requires room to embrace his or her emotions and such instead, they are required to bottle them up.

It Cuts on the Development of Emotional Intelligence
It is for this reason that overemphasizing the general positive approach of civil development actually becomes destructive for any population as it leads to the repression of emotion and leads to severe psychology-related disorders. If we are advised to remain cheerful during difficulties in life, then we focus on suppressing our feelings.

This can give an illusion of happiness while internal stress, anger, and sorrow all nest within and may lead to anxiety, and depression among other disorders.

It also leads to emotional suppression thereby making most people feel they are detached from their own selves. Emotions are part of being human and by ignoring them and not having a valid reason to do so, we are cheating ourselves out of being able to feel every part of what it is to be human.

It Places the Burden on the Individual

Toxic positivity diplomatically implies that if you’re not actively positive and joyful, it is solely due to faults. This shifts the entire burden of happiness onto the person and does not factor in anything around him or her. Such an attitude can be highly toxic for those experiencing trauma, chronic diseases, loss, or any other circumstances they have no power over.

Countless times, with simple advice we give, like “you just need to think positively,” we make people feel like it’s their own fault they are not happy. This can lead to a worsening of depression and hopelessness, as people come to make them feel like they are the ones at fault for what they are going through when some difficulties are just a part of life and must be, sometimes, accepted, not dismissed with positive thinking.

It creates demand and expectations that are unattainable Sometimes it gives out information that is hard to reach or achieve at a certain point in time.

Things are not always amazing in life and hoping for such will not be a good thing all the time. It produces the off-pitch thinking that the only acceptable emotion is happiness, which makes it hard to deal with situations whenever things turn sour.

For others who embrace the toxic positivity, they begin to think of themselves as failures when they are going through a negative feeling phase. He or she might assume that people know what they are doing and are always joyful in a way that imprisons him or her in the dangerous cycle of comparing herself or himself. This can cause a problem in that people are no longer able to recognize conflicts and difficulties as a normal part of life.

It Discourages Vulnerability

Real intimacy means having friends with whom you can share good and bad moments. People do not seek help or support because toxic positivity depresses them and convinces them that they have no right to be miserable. They may fear rejection or being looked down on, so they loudly hold their emotions, which practice makes them lonely.

In reality, being vulnerable strengthens the bonds of the connection. This format of raising our experiences to the level of discussion means that others will be ready to do the same and seek support. We must be able to embrace negative emotions and feelings, and we should even be able to discuss them with others.

It Ignores the Complexity of Healing

One of the main ways in which this kind of television criticizes culture is that it wholly disregards the process of recovering from the various forms of harm it depicts.

Recovery is said to be a painful process that takes time and patience to find ways to come to terms with the hurting self and engage in the right therapeutic process. Toxic positivity distills this situation into a simple notion that having a positive attitude is enough to effectively heal.

Although optimism is really fabulous when it comes to getting better, it is not a replacement for confronting feelings and working through them.

One has to admit that there is pain in order to be on the road to healing. Whether you are mourning the loss of a loved one or coming to terms with a traumatic event or any loss in your life it’ll help if you comprehend this loss. We are not healed in a straight line and it’s alright to have good plus bad days in the process.

The Power of Real Positivity

Well then, now that ‘toxic positivity’ is recognizable as negative, what’s positive? The answer is the real positive approach. It means recognizing that life is hard but staying positive and not giving up on life. It’s about embracing and celebrating both profound joy and deep suffering without the stigma of the latter.

Positivity in this case is realism. It doesn’t erase suffering but it does not linger on its experience either. That way we can be ready to face everything that life throws at us because it teaches us that it is alright to feel depressed, annoyed or angry. True positivity allows the acceptance of all emotions and as such enables the development that is needed.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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