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We cannot give someone something we do not have.
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Being a human can be confusing.
It can be hard to understand who you are and why you do the things you do.
Hard to feel good about yourself when you live with all of your flaws and afflictions.
Hard to feel important in a world with others who have their own sets of problems, often
too preoccupied with their own to care about yours.
And more often than not, because of all this, it can feel like you are all alone.
When we feel like this, it can be very easy to lose our belief in love.
To feel as though we do not deserve it.
We might find ourselves subconsciously sabotaging or pushing love away every time we get close
enough to touch it.
Because not until we learn that we are all inherently worthy of love, and are able to
love ourselves unconditionally, will we ever be able to accept love from someone else.
And not until we accept love from someone else, will someone else ever be able to truly
love us and make us feel a little less alone.
Learning how to love yourself allows you to understand what love really is and how it
works.
Loving yourself does not mean that you think you’re better than others.
It does not mean that you are always happy.
And it does not mean that you think you are perfect.
It means that you know your flaws and struggles, but still value and appreciate who you are,
what you have, and your efforts to do the best you can and make the most of life, despite
it all.
When you understand this for yourself, you understand that the same applies to loving
someone else.
You understand how to both give love and accept love.
The truth is, we don’t need any permission or achievement to be worthy of love.
We are all alive and regardless of where we came from and what we have done or gone through,
being alive is the only permission you need to feel like you are worthy of being alive.
The inability to love one’s own self and embrace the unconditional premise of love
is one of the biggest reasons why people struggle to find and sustain successful relationships.
It is why a person might get irritated by the subtlest of their partner’s quirks.
Why couples might fight over silly, trivial things.
Why couples distance over time or leave out important parts of who they are and what they
want in life.
Why one might betray the other and have an affair.
Or why when the initial lustfulness of a relationship goes away, often the love dies with it.
All because one or both individuals don’t understand and believe that they are worthy
of love and therefore, they act out of the insecurity and desperation that the void of
love creates.
You simply cannot give someone something that you do not have, and you cannot accept something
that you do not believe in from someone else.
If you do not have love for the self, you do not have any love to give to someone else.
And, if you do not believe you are worthy of love, you will resist anyone’s attempt
to give you theirs.
You will think that a person who claims to love you must be deceitful or crazy.
Or just hasn’t had enough of a chance to see you for who you truly are.
But perhaps they have.
Perhaps you are the one who hasn’t seen yourself for who you truly are.
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This post was previously published on YouTube.
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