It was a good Mother’s Day. We did the brunch thing, which was sort of a rip–$28 per adult, $15 for kids, and free mimosas. I’m not much for champagne, plain or mixed with orange juice, so I had a beer; the kids ripped through the “all you can eat” selections, which included scrambled eggs, bacon, pancakes, sausage and hash browns lined up in chafing dishes; my wife and I ordered from the menu–I went for the eggs benedict, which always sounds great, but the whole business: egg, canadian bacon, english muffin and the thick sauce, was so filling that I nearly fell asleep driving home; my wife had a breakfast burrito which she slathered with salsa and abandoned after three bites.
When we got home I lay on the floor like a beached manatee. I stared at the ceiling and my thoughts eventually turned to my mother and sister, who was basically my mother, because she was ten years older than me and ran my life when my mother wasn’t around, which was a lot.
The two of them made my life miserable, but they also spoiled me. Does that make sense? Think of it this way: they yelled at me if I didn’t make my bed or help with the laundry or put my clothes away, etc., but they never let me do any of that because they thought I was inept at it. So, they cooked, made my bed, cleaned up after me, did my laundry, made all the difficult phone calls, made sure I was where I was supposed to be. I was “wombed” big time.
What the hell could I do? I shrugged, that’s what I did. Needless to say, I was unprepared for college, let alone life after college. And guess what kind of women I pursued? Yep, the ones that were like my mother and sister. Someone who would take care of me,
It was a mistake. I was a big baby: nurtured and incubated. I was weak, but I didn’t figure it out until I met someone I really, really liked, and she dumped me cold after she figured out just how needy I was.
I was 25. After I cried and moaned and cursed I came to understand that I had to teach myself to be self-sufficient. I chose five tasks–five tasks that I had NEVER done before–and I taught myself how to do them.
The five tasks I chose for myself: 1) bake cupcakes; 2) sew up a patch on a rip on my jeans; 3) plant some tomatoes; 4) cook a dinner for five friends; 5) shop for a wedding gift for a co-worker.
I screwed them all up one way or the other. The cupcakes were horrible. I poked a needle into my thumb about 100 times trying to sew on the patch; I planted five tomato plants in a little buckets when I should have planted one, and none of them grew; I did cook dinner for my friends–spaghetti, but the “homemade” sauce I tried tasted like 99 cent store ketchup, and giving condoms as a wedding present to my male co-worker
was beyond tacky. But what the hell? I learned what NOT to do. And I tried again. And again. And eventually, I got the hang of being self-sufficient. And my spaghetti sauce is effing good.
TASK:
Look at the things that other people, especially the women in your life, do for you. Write them down. Pick 5 and do them yourself. Take your time and finish each one.
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It’s never too early to start talking about Father’s Day on The Good Men Project. We’re looking for sponsors and contributors for our #ModernDayDad campaign. https://t.co/WJvKqq2kTe pic.twitter.com/j66LNCY0VG
— The Good Men Project (@GoodMenProject) March 11, 2019
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We celebrate Gay Pride all year long. But this year, we’re doing some special programing for a large-scale campaign #LoveEqually. We’re looking for both sponsors and contributors. Check it out! https://t.co/tkraXFPxLL pic.twitter.com/X2FlBEZb8Y
— The Good Men Project (@GoodMenProject) March 11, 2019
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