Consistency and consideration will serve you well.
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If I know one thing for sure, it’s that women hate it when you say one thing and do another.
And like most of us I’ve had to learn that the hard way, and look, it’s still a continual process.
To be honest I found it hard to break through that miscommunication between myself and women, whether it was the mum of my children or girls that I’d meet out… for some reason things just didn’t link up, like we weren’t on the same page.
So, being a congruent dude means that your thoughts, words and actions are in alignment.
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I know now that it was probably a combination of a few things…being stuck in my head, being a bit shy, not projecting my voice, poor body language, etc.
But most of all it was because I wasn’t being congruent ie I would act in ways that weren’t in alignment with what I said or thought.
So, being a congruent dude means that your thoughts, words and actions are in alignment.
And when it comes to women, its like they have a sixth sense for this stuff.
No joke.
When meeting new girls being yourself is key… no one can bring your unique swag to an interaction like you can. You just need to find it.
So, if you’re a guy who likes comic books and playstation or bonzi trees and meditation, that’s cool, just OWN that shit.
Women will test, poke and prod until they see the cracks of who you really are start to show.
They are looking for the ‘chinks in your armour’ of who you are, which is being communicated through your body language, tonality of your voice, what you are saying and so on…
And for those guys who are like:
“I AM being congruent when I’m sitting down talking to my friends and not doing anything because I don’t feel like it!”
Well, yeah, this may be true but are girls going to think you are a ‘cool’ and interesting guy to be around?
Probably not.
Remember being unreactive is not proactive.
There is no growth without discomfort so push yourself to do something you might be afraid to do (like approach that girl across the d-floor) but accept who and where you are at first.
Lets break this down for kids and relationships.
When you’re around your kids, doing the things you say you will is so important.
- It builds trust
- It shows your kids that this is the way things should be done (rather than lying)
- It will build their self-esteem
- They will be able to trust the world. Your relationship is a microcosm for the rest of society and the world
So keep your promises, don’t be quick to judge other people in front of them and teach them that it’s ok to be you.
Communicating with your significant other is a skill in and of itself.
The main thing I would recommend here is to LISTEN.
And you’re probably like, “Man I do listen!”
Well, you’re probably not.
Listening is an active process and takes practice. You literally need to think, “OK she just said xyz, what does that mean?” and actively commit it to memory. This definitely helped me.
And I’m sure you’re aware of doing the things like eye contact, forward facing body and adding value to the conversation.
If I’m having a conversation with someone who is telling me a story I literally try and imagine it in my head so that I’m there with them and can think of good follow up questions to ask.
So, how can I be more congruent you ask?
Firstly the main thing is to take a look at your values.
Are you living your life in alignment to your values?
Are you honest with your loved ones and yourself?
Are you taking action towards something you want?
Do you like your job?
Do you spend enough time with your kids?
Did you speak to that brunette who made eyes at you?
The rest should filter down from there. If you look at these in combination with active listening and being true to you, you’re well on your way to Bo$$ status in multiple areas of your life.
Originally published on TheBossDadMovement.com
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Photo: Pixabay
You are right DJ. i want to inform everyone here that there is a man that can help to fix up every relationship difficulties online his name is Dr Amigo the online spell caster on Google. thanks everyone.
Personally, I don’t care what women like or hate. What I care about is what I love or hate, and then I found a woman that likes and hates the same things I do.
I win.