Would You Like a Coffee?

Lately, I’ve been struggling with my romantic life, I’m not so sure if it’s just because of the new life conditions that this pandemic has brought to us or if It’s just me.

The thing is that these recent changes in my life got me thinking about the way that relationships work nowadays, and I realized how much is that they have been changing in the last 20 years. The way that we date change as fast as the rest of things in this era.

All of that brought me the question:

Could it be that we are only getting worse?

These days we play a game that I don’t know how to play. The game of not feelings, not attachments, connections not strong enough, and sincerely I don’t know how to play the game of not feelings allowed and better yet, I don’t want to learn how to do it.

Vulnerability, What’s its role in relationships?

Photo by Ava Sol on Unsplash

In my opinion, being vulnerable in a relationship is pretty important, not in the way that we need to feel exposed or in danger, I mean it in the way that you let your walls down because you trust people enough to let your soul naked in front of them.

At this moment, I feel like most people won’t let you get that deep with themselves. Even though I feel like this is a big problem in today’s relationships, I don’t mean to sound like the classic perception of today’s generations relationships, where the people thing of young love in a negative way, I don’t think that’s nearly getting close to explaining the way we love because right now we are freer, we live in a time where almost everything goes, as long as it is agreed. We have possibilities that before we couldn’t even dream about, but I still feel that we are going to cold about it, like the only thing that exists is one night stands when we have a lot more than that.

A new taboo

I found a lot of people, even myself, in a position of rejection to compromise. I know that it’s easy to avoid a lot of difficult situations by not committing strictly with the people we interact, but I feel like we learn a lot from a position of vulnerability and that exposition of ourselves is quite helpful to improve ourselves and grow in the way we deal with life.

In what moment Love has started being a taboo when sex has stopped being it.

I think that life is more beautiful if we dare now and then to do things that we are afraid of, in this case, to be a little vulnerable and let people get through our armour.

Social media

Photo by dole777 on Unsplash

The English writer Simon Sinek said that the early and compulsive use of social media precludes the development of social skills. I link to thing that’s true. The immediacy of today’s world has created the necessity of having everything as fast as we can and that doesn’t match so well with the idea of waiting for a lot of time in things, for example, commitment.

. . .

I came to the conclusion that we are in a time where drinking coffee with someone has become more intimate than having sex. I’ve found myself in this situation, I think it is because I don’t go and talk about serious profound things with anyone if I’m sober.

Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

What made my write this story is the fact that I had a little of a romantic situation a couple of days back. I met someone in a coffee shop and we start talking from nowhere, with no other intention, we spent about an hour together and kept seeing each other the next days. That remembered me the simplicity behind love.

The thing is that I tend to overthink about a lot of things before to simply start a conversation with someone. So I want to encourage my self to think a little bit less and try more, maybe be a little bit more open about myself, let my guards not that high.

In the end, life is about feeling things, having experiences. Who falls in love doesn’t lose, who feels wins.

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This post was previously published on Hello, Love and is republished here with permission from the author.
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