Stay quiet. No one is awake yet. Why would they be? It’s 5 am during a global pandemic, and getting up with any purpose is not high on the agenda. Travelling into the bathroom, I throw some cold water on my face, ready for the task at hand. Moving the kitchen chair into position without making any noise is terrifying. The writing pad and pen are exactly where I placed them the evening before. But wait, what exactly are you writing about? Inspiration and ideas swirl around in the mind. What are people feeling at present? Strike that reverse. How am I feeling?
Covid-19 has left me without a job, at home, no access to the gym, and balancing the daily stressors all men face. We bottle our emotions up. There’s your story, I thought. Get out of your own way and begin. So, on the morning of the 17th of September, I published the uniquely titled, “Men, Protect Your Mental Health after Job Loss”.
For those in the writing community, there is a real feeling of elation when your story goes public online. Or is that just me? Knowing that other people can connect, relate, and find meaning in your words is transformative. Why hadn’t I done this sooner? The pandemic provided the time to start clarifying, engaging, and reframing events that had shaped my life. These stories all had an impact on me as a human being. Why? I lived them. All had a bearing on my identity, beliefs, values, relationships, and choices.
Growing up in West Belfast during the conflict, I developed a unique perspective on managing adversities, setbacks, failures, challenges, and trauma we all face. Everyone who lived through this period has a story to tell. Did it lay the foundations for writing? Pre-pandemic, I would have thrown you from a moving ship. However, when life hits you like a shit storm, you either stand tall or find shelter. My writing column is called: The Resilient Irishman. You can judge what I do every time.
We acquire the strength we have overcome. –Ralph Waldo Emerson
As a writer of non-fiction, I leave nothing on the table. Tackling real-life issues with no bullshit in the narrative is why I’m here. It won’t connect with everyone. So what? Being true to yourself is crucial when people want authenticity. Why would I change who I am? Writing is cathartic for me, and that’s all that matters. Introspection and self-analysis are difficult for many. Embracing the hard times, learning and growing are how you connect with your strengths.
Managing the pandemic was another obstacle that had to be overcome. Finding activities, tasks, or distractions to manipulate time was a real-world problem. Why did I decide to awaken every morning at dawn to write? It was going to require discipline and repetition towards behaviour change. So it begins. For anyone breaking habits built up over years, you will acknowledge this is the most difficult part of the process.
The mind and body are in constant battle giving you ways out. Research shows us the volume of people who revert to old ways when beginning an exercise program. The 3rd week in January is a cliff edge for New Year’s resolutions. Move past it, you become more determined to stick with it.
Not only was I going to stick with it, hell, but I was also getting up with real energy and momentum every day. Is this what I was supposed to be doing? Listen to what the voice is telling you. Does this make me feel happy? Yes. Then keep doing it for god’s sake, man. Let the writing journey begin in earnest. Just one thing. I need to find a kettle that doesn’t make so much noise when boiling. Waking the whole street a 5 am will bring a world of pain.
Nothing is more creative…nor destructive…than a brilliant mind with purpose. –Dan Brown
Finding content for the writing was going to be easy. What? No writer’s block, procrastination, or staring at the ceiling for ideas, thoughts, and words. Jesus, that’s some serious claim. Lived experiences are how you connect with memories. These memories are your recollection of the emotions, positive or negative, you felt at that time and beyond.
Inhabiting this planet for the past 44 years, I had banked a lot. Topics covering mental health, business losses, property crashes, the justice system, fitness, professional services, starting again, resilience, and tackling life’s many pitfalls all provided inspiration for the writing. What knowledge, wisdom, and lessons did I learn from these experiences? Read through the 50 stories, and the answer should hit you harder than a freight train.
All the adversity I’ve had in my life, all my troubles and obstacles, have strengthened me… You may not realize it when it happens, but sometimes a kick in the teeth is the best thing in the world. –Walt Disney
In darkness we find strength. This is not a quote from a motivational account on Instagram. No, this is the shit we must wade through to find out who we are, and more importantly, why we’re here. Fuck, that’s deep. I know. Did I not say I did the internal work? People spend their lives chasing their purpose and searching for answers.
The solutions are found when you stand up and look in the mirror. There is no masking what you see. Who is the person staring back at you? What do you want to say to them? Get into action on the answers revealed.
Reflecting on what I’ve achieved since September 2020 fills me with great pride. I’ve gone from being on the floor in a real dark place to climbing towards the summit again. Life will always test, punch, and gnaw at us. We are built to evolve, change and transform through every passing minute until the end. Ask me again; what’s my inspiration for writing?
Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing. –Benjamin Franklin
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The Good Men Project gives people the insights, tools, and skills to survive, prosper and thrive in today’s changing world. A world that is changing faster than most people can keep up with that change. A world where jobs are changing, gender roles are changing, and stereotypes are being upended. A world that is growing more diverse and inclusive. A world where working towards equality will become a core competence. We’ve built a community of millions of people from around the globe who believe in this path forward. Thanks for joining The Good Men Project.
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