Ryan Phillips thought his life had ended when he was caught smuggling a large amount of marijuana into the United States. Turns out, it had only just begun.
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Ryan Phillips was a Canadian pro Hockey player who’s played for teams like the Wichita Thunder to the Waco Wizards and was at height of his fame and game prowess when he was arrested for importing a large amount of marijuana into the United States over the Canadian border. Phillips was incarcerated and detained and then later, upon his release prohibited from re-entering for LIFE by Homeland Security. He embarked on a journey of self-actualization and realization, that resulted in a documentary called Return to Happiness. By the end of filming, Phillips was, finally allowed by the US to be able to visit the country and his heart, his daughter Sadie. Phillips is concerned with delineating a new way of manhood and masculinity and also with bringing joy into a sometimes joyless world. Savas Abadsidis of The Good Men Project spoke to Phillips at length about his journey.
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You seem to have set up a certain kind of approach to being a man (something this publication is acutely about). Was this intentional? Do you see yourself as offering a new kind of masculinity?
All through the ages many men have felt the need to suppress their emotions on an interior level and felt the need to have a rough edge to their personality. Yet, when we are born into this world, our natural state of being is one of love and light. Growing up playing sports, specifically hockey, I was taught that I had to have both physical and mental toughness—both prerequisites in professional sports. But it’s my humble opinion that off the playing stage it’s important to connect to our true selves. First, there is only one you, and expressing your own unique individuality is a blessing. You can’t be duplicated and just the fact that you are alive in this moment has impact of stupendous proportions. It’s important to live in truth and stay true to your own beliefs and convictions. Ignore the naysayers and realize that other people’s opinions, unless constructive, are useless and only bring you down. It’s okay to cry and be open, to feel emotions on all levels while we move through life experiences. I was blessed to be brought up with values, but did lose my way for a time. But when we are truly on path and living a purposeful life there’s nothing that can get in our way other than temporary setbacks. The kind of man I set out to be every day is one of compassion. I’ve come to know my authentic self through my own personal awakening. Life is not a dress rehearsal, so really, what do we have to save it for? I make it a habit to give smiles everywhere I go, to treat everyone the same no matter where they work or what status our community or media have put on them. We are all made from the same stuff and leaving others better for having crossed my path is a goal every day I walk out my door. I live by the laws of cause and effect, action and reaction, by fully realizing that intention is backed by all deeds.
Bouncing off the previous, one of the most affecting and moving parts of your story is your relationship and concerns about your daughter. Do you think this is something unique to you? Men are often stereotyped as not being nurturers; do you reject this notion?
My family means everything to me, they gave me the gift of life and there’s not one day that goes by that I don’t give gratitude for my life. Some people may find my story unique, but I find it natural to nurture the people that are closest to us and need our help. Not the people that beg or panhandle, they need inspiration! I’ve met many good men along my journey who treat family the way it should: “SACRED.” In my journey of life, I, more than anything, not only want my daughter to respect my actions but to know that she can come to me for guidance about anything in her life. We live in a generation where media portrays images of how we’re supposed to look, act or dress. I tell her to just express love to others and always do her best—that way there will never be room for self-judgment. There’s always going to be peer pressures and influences, but that’s part of life and she is on her own journey. As long as she has a good work ethic and treats others with respect I have faith she’ll be able to negotiate herself through life just fine. I find many parents try too hard to push their kids these days, which in turn causes resentment. So in my case, and this is only my suggestion, I believe it’s important that we respect our children as separate entities and let them discover life as it unfolds, allowing them to give their talents and gifts to the world.
The US recently has been devastated by a series of weather systems; where does your philosophy fall and what guidance would you give to the folks affected by these tragedies?
The devastation on TV and in the papers was hard to watch as I have a daughter that lives in Wichita, Kansas. At the onset of the weather patterns which have resulted in serious ramifications to Oklahoma and other regions of the United States I was struck with worry for not only my child’s well being, but the millions of people struck by fear from the forces of mother nature—most of which is out of our control. We can do our best to prepare ourselves for such tragic events, but when anything of this magnitude strikes we realize how we are at the mercy of the powerful forces of nature. Many lives were lost, homes were destroyed and countless lives will be changed forever. I instantly went online and searched for the Red Cross number in Oklahoma but getting through wasn’t possible. I wanted to give my service to the people and help in any way I could. I couldn’t help but feel compassion and sadness for all the loss. Life can be strange and imponderable at times, and we never know what tomorrow my hold. In my humble opinion I think nature has a way of stopping us in our tracks, inflicting devastation to see how we as a human race will react to such adverse situations.
It’s times like these when we are tested as communities and as a country to bind together as one, become close knit as brothers and sisters to assist one another. It’s through these adversities that we discover love for our fellow man. The President employed the military to help facilitate clean-up of the wreckage and people from all over have bound together in harmony to give hope and courage to a disaster that will take years to rebuild. The positive side of the coin is that through moments of crisis people rise above their natural state of consciousness and reach great heights in helping others.
Sort of in the same vein, what would you say to someone who has been adversely affected by the recession over the last few years?
The sad reality of life is that economic collapses have taken place at many different times throughout history. But worry is a negative state of mind which creates a blueprint pattern, unless it is supplanted by the emotion of faith and a desire to create new and useful ideas. We can easily get stuck in a rut. Stress is hard on the physical and mental faculties of the nervous system and can cause disease and anxiousness. My suggestion for people that have been affected by the recession is to ally themselves with positive people who desire growth. It’s amazing what even two people can do when they bounce ideas off each other in a spirit of faith and harmony. We have to feel good and do many good deeds in life to attract new opportunities. So on the other side of the rut could be a great opportunity to thrive. It’s important to have positive daily intentions of how good life will be. Taking the time to affirm positive affirmations that imbue themselves deeply into the subconscious mind will propel the action element to inspire others to your own self created magnetic personality which is key to both personal and financial growth. Do your best to be a leader even when the going gets tough and always live in truth and integrity.
Napoleon Hill is highlighted as a thinker that you admire. He went on to advise presidents like FDR. Where do you see your philosophy in terms of a continuum that you could argue began with Dale Carnegie, through Hill and extends to your own?
I have long been a student of Napoleon Hill’s philosophy. I could write a whole book on the knowledge I’ve gained through his teachings. I take the 1937 classic book Think and Grow Rich everywhere I go. Mr. Hill devoted close to a quarter of a century studying the causes of success and failure. Going back into my life many years now, Mr. Hill made a promise in the book in which I took to heart. He said if you follow the simple instructions laid out in the book you can have anything in life that you truly desire. Desire as I learned is a thought impulse. Thought is energy traveling at an exceedingly high rate of vibration. So the first thing in anyone’s life if they are searching for more, is to decide what it is you REALLY want. Desire is the starting point of all achievement. Definiteness of purpose backed by faith towards that which you desire in life will take you onwards and upwards towards your goal. I originally thought Mr. Hill’s books were solely about money and getting rich. But as I applied the principles, I realized that his teachings go way beyond material wealth. True wealth can be measured in long lasting friendships, love and harmonious business relations. We are what we are because of the dominating thoughts we allow to enter our subconscious mind through repetition. Whether these thoughts are positive or negative is irrelevant. Human beings run on emotions, so the key to unlocking the door to the subconscious is to get emotionally involved in every way imaginable. We have to see and feel that which we desire before it will manifest into our experience. Through the vibration of the ether (the space or void that occupies the universe) we attract like thoughts and circumstances that dominate our mind. I’ve learned that what we focus on expands, and what we think about we bring about. The most value I’ve received from Napoleon Hill is realizing that rendering service in a state of harmony without expecting anything in return will always come back to you ten fold. Andrew Carnegie knew this universal law, that you get what you give. The catch was that by associating himself with people of great achievement he took on a lot of the dominating thoughts and habits of these people. In turn Amdrew Carnegie known as the “canny old Scott” gave him the guidepost for, in my opinion, the greatest philosophy of the ages to write your own ticket in life. Definiteness and harmony are the key words, if you know what you want, give service to the world in a state of harmony, and tremendous doors will open themselves for any humble individual in the world.
I’d like to elaborate on one more thing I’ve learned through putting Napoleons philosophy to use…that nothing happens without putting your impulses of thought and desire into ACTION and using your knowledge for specialized use.
One of the most profound and meaningful things you’ve done is support the Somaly Mam Foundation. How did you get involved with that organization?
I decided I wanted to dive deep into the true source of happiness in 2010. I had so much of it in my youth and even though as I roll through the waves of life now, I look at the time in my twenty’s and my early thirties as suffering from the human condition. I sought after materialism and quick riches but I wasn’t happy, and neither was my family. Poor lifestyle choices led me down a dark path for many years before I awoke to let’s call it my “higher self”. I was in a business fueled on ego and greed and let both negative emotions get the best of me at times. I was imprisoned in the year 2000 for smuggling a 100 pounds of high grade marijuana from BC Canada into the United States. My chosen career path at that time came after a turbulent professional hockey stint of parts of four years which were plagued with injuries. There was big money to be made and I saw it as an opportunity. Little did my half-baked mind at the time think of the serious consequences such as incarceration and violence. I always thought none of which happened could really happen to me. I felt untouchable at times, but was still living in fear of what other people thought. I was insecure.
In prison I learned a lot about the world. The institution was called FDC SeaTac, a federal prison that considered me a flight risk so I didn’t see the light of day for over 500 days. The first seven months were spent in self-loathing and depression as I would sleep all day and barely make meals. I had no energy, no drive, I lost all willingness to face the world I was in. Then something happened. A small Japanese man in his mid 50’s—let’s call him Tojo (one of his seven aliases)—saw something in me. He would laugh and love life no matter what, and I never saw him unhappy. He came and banged on my cell door one day, and proceeded over the next few months to ignite faith and hope back into my life. He talked about tuning into positive vibrations, visualization exercises, writing and most importantly self love. He really helped me through the time I spent on the inside.
Fast forward a few years, my awakening happened, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I made it out of my prison stint having a new awareness on life and saw the world in a totally different light. I got back into the fast lane of life for a time and lost my connectedness to my “higher self”. But when I made numerous decisions to clean up physically and spiritually I would find my higher self fighting with my intellect. I used many of Tojo’s teachings to help me find some purpose in my life. I stopped judging others, I was drawn to books and started studying the law’s of the universe and my higher self had returned!
While over in Southeast Asia, working on a documentary film about happiness, I felt the need to show we are only as happy as we allow ourselves to be. After my incarceration I was told I would never be allowed in the USA again where my daughter was born and being raised. I maintained the best relationship I could under the circumstances. I set my sails of thought on a positive nature, and by wanting to do good in the world, my belief system changed and I started affirming to myself that one day I would regain access to the USA. I applied for waivers but was turned down many times.
After a month into my Southeast Asia trip where the filming was taking place I saw some very heartwarming pictures of my friend Serinda Swan doing advocacy work in that region. I learned that she was doing a bike ride across Cambodia to help raise money for the Somaly Mam Foundation, an organization that brings awareness to human trafficking and sex slavery. I contacted her immediately on Facebook and wanted to know more about how I could help. She told me that the organization had saved over 7,000 young girls lives. So in my mind I thought, “why not show the positive side to change in the right direction.” I got permission to film the bike ride and numerous events at shelters and I was so overtaken with emotion on how people from all over the world really cared about making an impact to help save and reintegrate the surviving girls back into society with life skills so that they could thrive. I met Somaly Mam as well, which was a pivotal event in my life.
I thought about my stay in prison and my daughter, so this cause resonated on many levels because of that. The thought of a young girl being forced to have sex against her will made me sick. I had a choice and payed my dues. These girls not only were held prisoner against their will, they were abused and sold into brothels. So I became actively part of the fight against modern day slavery and it’s something I will stand up for in voice and action for as long as I breath. We raised over 120,000 in nine days traveling 500 km’s on that mission that ended in Angkor Wat temple, one of the seven wonders of the world. And it fit perfectly into the name of the film Return to Happiness. Recently I returned from my second bike ride across Vietnam and Cambodia which was 565 km’s, and I witnessed first hand the surviving girls again. This year the bike ride raised more money and helped more girls and for that opportunity I’m grateful. Little by little the cause is making a dent, and I was very blessed after the ride in 2012 to be granted access to the USA as a humanitarian, something I took to heart with humility.
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photos courtesy of the author
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