Yes, I sheepishly admit that title came from the song Love Yourself by Justin Bieber. (Wow, has that young man had a major spiritual transformation in recent years!)
I’m not about to go into all the possible [tabloid fodder] reasons he wrote and performed that particular song at the time.
(Feel free to look it up on your own, if you’re curious about it.)
Wait, What? Why Today’s Selfish Self-Love is Overrated
What prompted this piece was witnessing a T-shirt on a young lady today, similar to the one displayed in this AI generated image above.
It reminded me that THIS shirt accurately represents our self-obsessed-all gain-no pain society, where comfort is King and consumerism is all-consuming.
No, thank you.
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In the Upside Down Kingdom described below, dying to self is the ultimate gain (Philippians 1:21).
An “Upside-Down Kingdom” refers to the countercultural values of God’s reign, where traditional worldly notions of power, status, and success are inverted, meaning the humble are exalted, the last become first, and service brings true leadership, famously taught by Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount, as explored in Christian literature like Donald B. Kraybill’s book “The Upside-Down Kingdom” and sermons by figures like Timothy Keller. It challenges followers to live differently from the “right side up” world, embracing grace, serving the marginalized, and finding life by “dying to self”. (AI overview)
Honestly, if you truly struggle to love yourself — unselfishly serving others is the absolute best way to improve that, in my humble opinion.
Serving others doesn’t necessarily look like *Martha in the famous Bible Story of Mary and Martha.
But it does mean being useful to others helps us feel better about ourselves.
As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named *Martha opened her home to him. 39 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. 40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” 41 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but few things are needed — or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:38–42 NIV
In other words, esteemable acts build self-esteem.
Obviously, the listening lesson is more to the point of this Mary and Martha example, but we will save that gem for a future article.
Living with integrity, treating others well, and being useful is a much better way to learn to love yourself, than purchasing a self-love-proclaiming-t-shirt, being a merch-marketing social media “influencer”, or following all the latest beauty or fashion trends like proverbial lemmings.
No judgement if you delight in fashion, beauty, or other cultural trends.
Lydia the purple fabric merchant mentioned in chapter 16 of the book of Acts, the virtuous business woman described in detail in chapter 31 of Proverbs, and courageous Queen Esther in the book of Esther are a few Biblical examples of strong, beautiful women who may have cared about the fashion and beauty trends of their time.
However, those concerns were secondary to providing for the needs of others.
Genuine self-love (respect) comes from compassionately caring for others.
In the Bible, self-love isn’t selfishness but a God-centered acceptance of oneself as made in His image, recognizing inherent worth through His love, leading to healthy self-care (body, mind, spirit) and compassion, all while prioritizing love for God and others, not self-fixation. It’s about understanding your value in Christ, setting boundaries, and caring for your whole self to better serve God, contrasting sharply with worldly self-absorption. (Ai overview)
Hello LOVE, we write, we see sparks, and we drink coffee (or other favorite beverage)…
May your days be filled with wonder and compassion as you shift your mindset to see the vulnerable child inside yourself and others.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Darius Bashar On Unsplash
