“It is better to have loved and lost than never to have lost at all.” Samuel Butler
We men are dogs, sure. But we LOVE love. We love with a deep, powerful passion that engulfs us. And when we fall in love, we leap into the abyss without wondering where or when we will land.
Whatever the reason, there is someone who lives in your heart and pops into your head every once in a while, and you go to sleep thinking about her, and you try to put her out of your mind…
I want to repeat those three sentences, but I won’t, because the would be overkill, but it chafes me when I hear my wife and her friends talk about love as though women own it, insinuating that men are incapable of deep, abiding love, when in fact I believe the opposite to be true. Women confuse love with loyalty…
I also believe that a man may fall in love more than once in his life.
What do I mean by falling in love? You know what I mean. And if you don’t, you’ve never fallen in love.
Now–there is little rhyme nor reason to the people we fall for–one may be a psycho who was sexually thrilling but so nutty that the memory of her causes involuntary shuddering; and one is probably lying next to you now, the mother of your children and a woman who may or may not want to have sex with you.
That leaves one OTHER love–the one you never talk about. Especially with your wife. This other love lives in your heart…it may be unrequited, it may be impossible to fathom–like the torch you carry for your sophomore english teacher, and more likely than not, it was probably someone you dated and you fell in love with, then she dumped you for someone else, or because she didn’t love you the way you loved her, or because she decided that other women were better life mates.
Whatever the reason, there is someone who lives in your heart and pops into your head every once in a while, and you go to sleep thinking about her, and you try to put her out of your mind…
But you can’t.
And in a way that’s wonderful.
TASK
Go to a supermarket. Buy this woman a card. One of those cards that has a romantic picture on the outside but nothing inside (these are usually more expensive than the cards that have some hokey sentiment written inside which makes no sense). Bring the card home and open it up and write down everything that you loved about that woman. Try to articulate the feeling you have when you think about her. And write down why you think you’re not together.
Then close the card, put it in its envelope, seal it and put it in your notebook.
My name is Joe Doe. I've been around, made some money, seen some things, and messed up more times than I was willing to admit, until the day came that I had to make amends. So I set out to create some tasks for myself that would broaden my perspectives, unpack my baggage and ultimately improve my life. I'd like to share those tasks with other men. You can follow Joe on twitter: @joedoe127
