Your 'Badass'

I’ve trained in Aikido for nearly 35 years, over half my life. The late Mizukami Sensei taught, “Take a glancing blow if you have to. You’re not going to get away scot-free. It’s one time.” Ishibashi Sensei teaches, “Apply the (Aikido) technique to yourself… Everything quiet.” It’s me against me. I’m my GOAT (Greatest of All-Time) opponent. O-Sensei Morihei Ueshiba said, “True victory is victory over oneself.”

The 6’4”, 250-pound man comes to punch me. I’m 5’3”, 142 pounds. Still, I wait it out. I enter the attack. I take a glancing blow if I have to. It’s one time. I choose to let the attacker pass or end the attack. The attacker chooses to take the fall or stand down. What happens, happens.

Over the years, Mizukami Sensei and Ishibashi Sensei trained me to be a badass. That’s the design of budo (traditional Japanese martial arts). No, I’m not some badass who always wins. Far from it. I train in humility. I don’t fight unless attacked. In the attack, I enter the attack and die with honor. I match the attack in my attack. If I defend against the attack, I can be defeated. I apply the Aikido technique to myself, not to the attacker. I work on myself, not on them.

The late Mizukami Sensei said, “Make it work.” I make the Aikido technique work, regardless of the size, strength, and speed of the attacker. I make myself work.

In the bigger picture, I train to protect myself and protect those who cannot protect themselves. The late Mizukami Sensei’s code of honor. Badass isn’t about kicking ass, proving that you’re better than others. I train to be the badass in the presence of my fear. I enter what I fear, get under the attack. I choose who I am and what I do.

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Growing up as a little boy, Dad scared me to my very soul. I was never good enough for Dad. I would never be good enough, period. I spent much of my adult life proving that I was strong enough, that I was smart enough, that I was good enough. When I began Aikido training with the late Mizukami Sensei, he got that. He saw me. He got me.

Sensei said, “Just train.” I didn’t have to get somewhere or prove anything. I could just be me. Sensei created the space to invent my greater-than versions. Sensei trained me to be the badass, who is a good man, who serves others. I was no longer the 8-year-old boy who lived in fear of Dad. Nothing but mad love and respect to the late Mizukami Sensei.

Sensei believed that the world would be a better place if everyone trained in Aikido. With all due mad respect to Sensei, that wasn’t going to happen. I think he knew that, too. Not everyone would dedicate mind, body, and spirit to Aikido training. Yes, I’m an anomaly. Yeah, I’m weird that way.

Still, the world becomes a better place as I pass on all that I got from Mizukami Sensei. I take life’s glancing blow for what’s meaningful to me. I enter the danger, enter what I fear. That’s the safest place to be. I choose who I am and what I do. I’m the badass in the presence of fear. You can be that badass, too. Just train.

I perpetuate the late Mizukami Sensei’s profound legacy in teaching Aikido students to just train. It’s not like they have to get somewhere or prove themselves. Heaven is right where they stand. They get to invent their greater-than versions. That was what Sensei had given me the space to do over the years. Sensei gave me life. Hopefully, I can do the same for others. Still, students put in the work, work on themselves, and become the best versions of themselves.

Perhaps, along that path, the world becomes a better place, too. Mizukami Sensei’s and I’s dream. Just saying. Amen.