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It’s a common fact that there are many milestone points in any young woman’s life—having her first boyfriend is certainly one of them. However, as her father, how do you deal with this important milestone?
Carefully, that’s how!
It is vitally important that you handle this situation with sensitivity, calmness, and that you don’t allow your protectiveness over your little princess to boil over into anger and giving orders.
It’s hard work, but it’s a line you need to follow carefully!
There are two routes down which this road could begin: either your daughter introduces your new boyfriend to you personally, or you find out by mistake. Obviously, it is better that she introduces you to him personally, but that could mean the relationship is serious. Don’t freak out! Either way, you need to handle the situation calmly.
This also all depends on how old your daughter is, but we will assume that she is of an age that is acceptable for her to have a boyfriend.
So, how should you handle it?
Stay Calm, Be Polite
If you are meeting him for the first time, be polite. You don’t have to treat him like your long lost son, but you should be friendly, yet firm. This means that you are showing your daughter that you are respecting her choice, but you are also showing the guy that underneath it all your firmness means business — upset her at your peril! Be calm at all costs.
Do Not Lecture Her
It is no good going on a rant to your daughter about how she is too young/too irresponsible/shouldn’t be having a boyfriend. This is simply going to push her away and cause a rift. Instead, you should tell her that obviously, you’re not over the moon about it, but that you respect her decision and you know she is responsible enough to be careful.
Do a Little Research
It doesn’t hurt to find out a little about your girl’s new beau, provided you don’t go over the line! You could do a quick online people search, use forum like CheckThem.com just to find out a little more. Here at the Good Men Project, we’re not adverse to research!
Encourage Her to Be Open About Her Relationship
If you show that you are dead against this union from the start, you are only going to encourage secrecy and sneaking around. When this happens, nothing good ever occurs. For that reason, encourage your daughter to be open and talk about her boyfriend with the family. Ask questions, even if it pains you to do so, and be interested in learning more about him. Grit your teeth if you have to!
At the end of the day, being a father with a daughter who has just found her first boyfriend is not an easy situation to be in. What you do need to realise and accept however is that your daughter is going to grow up, and if you deal with it in the wrong way, you’re going to drive that metaphorical wedge between you.
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This content is sponsored by M Rafiq.
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Click for more by M. Rafiq here on GMP.
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Related, here on GMP:
About the Young Man Dating My Teenage Daughter
What if how I treat him impacts how he treats her?
Please Don’t Threaten My Son For Dating Your Daughter
Enough with the tired gender norms we impose on our teenagers when they begin dating.
A Dad Against ‘Dads Against Daughters Dating’
Troubled by a t-shirt slogan and what it represents, Mike Reynolds explores the prospect of his daughters dating down the road.
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