Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is the 8-time WWE Heavyweight Champion and the Biggest Movie Star on Planet Earth, Forbes’s Highest Paid Actor in 2018 and 2024. His movies have grossed over $15 billion globally.
In 2019, The Rock received the MTV Generations Award. In his acceptance speech, The Rock said, “The most powerful thing we can be is be ourselves.” He said, “There’s another side of being your authentic self, your true self. That’s the side, the magic is on. That’s the side, that’s gold. And yes, while it’s important to be yourself. You gotta recognize the joy and responsibility of bringing everybody with you. We bring everybody with us. And we do that by being compassionate, by being kind, by being inclusive, and straight up good to people. Because that matters.”
The Rock closed with a quote that he heard when he was 15 years-old and lives by, “It’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice.”
Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is wise.
When I get that I choose who I am and what I do in any given moment, then making a difference is my most authentic self-expression. I can say, “The best thing I can do is be myself.” If I’m a dick, I can’t make a difference. No one will listen to me, much less even want to listen.
I could say, “I have to be my authentic self.” That spirals nowhere, when I’m a jerk, when I’m unkind, when I’m not nice to people. In my experience, to make a difference for people, I gotta be nice. I have to work on myself, first. I learned that the hard way.
When I was a little boy, Dad scared the hell out of me. Whatever I did or didn’t do only made him so angry with me. Honestly, I never knew which. I only knew that I was not good enough for Dad. That I never would be. For that matter, I would never be good enough for anyone else, including me. I hated on myself. I got good at that, too. I feared inside that I am not good enough. I spent much of my adult life proving I was good enough. I soon learned that being more, better, or different would still never be good enough.
For over 35 years, I trained in Aikido with the late Mizukami Sensei and Ishibashi Sensei. Mizukami Sensei taught both Ishibashi Sensei and me until he passed away. I worked on myself, not on others. Mizukami Sensei said, “Just train.” I didn’t have to get somewhere or be someone else. I didn’t have to prove anything. I could just be me. That was good enough. I put my head down. Put in the work. Practice makes the unnatural natural.
In Aikido, I learned honor and respect for others, and for myself. I didn’t hate on myself so much. When I was kind and respectful to others that made it a lot easier for me to have kindness and respect for me. I could be nice to myself. Just train.
The purpose of Aikido is to release your fear. When the bigger stronger man attacks, I wait it out. I enter the attack. I take a glancing blow if I have to. I’m not always going to get away scot-free. It’s one time. The safest place to be is under the attack, in the danger. I hold my position. Make my timing. I apply the Aikido technique to myself, not to the attacker.
O-Sensei Morihei Ueshiba said, “True victory is victory over oneself.” It’s me against me. I overcome myself, not others. I open up. I let go my fear inside that I’m not good enough. Although my fear inside me never completely disappears, every time I enter what I fear, I let go more of my fear inside. I free myself. I’m nice to me. That makes a difference.
I work with my therapist Lance Miller to heal my childhood trauma and depression. I forgave Dad for not knowing how to be a father, for being afraid inside, and for being imperfectly human. I forgive myself for not being strong enough as a little boy to stand up to Dad and protect Mom. I forgive myself for being imperfectly human, too. I love myself for who I am and forgive myself for who I’m not. I’m nice to me and others.
I can be nice; I can make a difference; when I’m genuinely interested in people. No, I can’t fake it. I teach Aikido to 16-year-old Isabel and 15-year-old Jason. I know that Isabel dreams of going to Cal Tech and studying mechanical engineering. I know that Jason dreams of going to Wharton and studying business. I hooked them up with my friends, who are Alumni at those schools. When I instruct Isabel to accelerate the attack or Jason to throw with his feeling out, from his strength inside, maybe they listen. Maybe, they’re open to the possibility of listening. That makes a difference. That’s having meaningful influence. That’s just being nice.
We can all talk a good game saying, “I want to make a difference.” We can all say, “I just gotta be me.” Still, no one’s listening unless, we’re nice. We work on ourselves, not on others. We’re good to people. We’re nice to people. Like the Rock said, “It’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice.”
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Photo by George Pixel on Unsplash
