I am blessed with the opportunity to meet a lot of people.
I am a people person, and I love meeting folks and listening to their story.
Everyone has one.
Past pain, suffering, trauma, and life challenges.
We all have a story.
Even people who look as though they have the perfect life are dealing with some form of life challenge.
When I listen to a person’s story I have two specific questions.
Does the person still identify with the story?
Does the person recognize how they have, or can, become stronger because of their challenges?
In my own life of suffering and pain, I created and had to overcome many life-long challenges that I held onto with a firm grasp.
I ignored many “optimistic” pieces of advice, such as…
Be yourself and others will appreciate you more.
Possessions will not give you happiness.
You expect and allow others to treat you only as well as you treat yourself.
I ignored them because I believed these words were just false statements – with zero credibility.
I ignored them, and I ultimately had to fail to learn that they are all true.
Every word.
I hit bottom because I trusted no one and nothing.
Because I did not trust myself.
We see the world as we see ourselves.
I failed, and it caused me to ultimately shift my entire way of life. I decided to use my suffering to create the life of my dreams.
I neglected myself and failed, so why not try something different?
I made changes. I stopped accepting that I had to be like everyone else.
And now I have a brand new life. Health, happiness, fulfillment, a blossoming business.
Because I learned how to change my approach to life while using my story as fuel, not as an excuse.
I witness many people using their story as an excuse. It has become their identity, and they refuse to believe they can be freed from its bondage.
They seem to be in love with their suffering. When I tell them this they tell me I am wrong.
But when I state that they can be freed, they fight to hold on.
They do not choose to heal – they identify with their suffering, their story.
But others that I speak with tell me their story, then proceed to tell me how they overcame their challenges.
My friend with cancer uses his journey to help others – he sees his cancer as a gift to serve others.
I have a friend with cystic fibrosis who has outlived his original life expectancy by 43 years – he has run 9 marathons when he was told he must remain non-active to live. He serves others through his learnings and teachings.
I have a client who was a captain of his lacrosse team in High School and is a natural leader. He stopped believing in himself and stopped leading, began spiraling, and is now making changes to rebuild his once vibrant leadership presence. He has made a simple decision to make changes.
These folks understand that they are not their suffering, pain, or challenges.
They refuse to hold themselves back because of an event, condition, or even a series of past decisions.
Some people I encounter use their past as a crutch or even as shackles.
Self-imposed prison.
I love hearing people’s stories.
But the ones I love hearing the most are the ones that could be used to teach others, to be written in a book, to serve a purpose.
I hope to hear a desire to overcome, release from their shackles.
Sometimes I hear that desire, sometimes I hear the desire to remain in pain.
The only difference is the person’s interpretation of their ability to overcome.
We all possess the ability to change, but some choose to suppress their independence and authority over their story.
They feel helpless because they choose to feel helpless.
No one can convince them to let go.
But if they ever did let go, the miraculous outcome could inspire millions and could be published so that people could put the story in their library.
Like the other millions of inspirational rebirths that history has witnessed.
Which one are you? Have you chosen freedom, or have you chosen shackles?
Have you overcome, or have you chosen to remain in a state of pain because of a refusal to realize your true ownership over your condition?
Your story can be an excuse or fuel.
It’s your choice.
Today I encourage you to make a choice that will set you free. Begin to write your own book.
Detach from your pain and suffering, and recognize the true freedom you were meant to have.
The choice is yours.
Only yours.
Your story is your power.
—
Previously published on mikekitko
*******************************
***
If you believe in the work we are doing here at The Good Men Project and want to join our calls on a regular basis, please join us as a Premium Member, today.
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.
Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
Talk to you soon.
*************************
Photo credit: istockphoto