You’re the Shit

TASK #48 – YOU’RE THE SHIT

“I never get tired of hearing compliments.” John Lithgow

There was the iron age, the age of reason, and we are currently in the age of ripping people apart. I mean, what used to be confined to the playing field or just thought about or muttered quietly is now out there, loud and clear. Hey if the President’s gonna do it, why can’t I? Just this morning he was ripping on Hilary and ripping on the UCLA basketball team and ripping on well, just about anyone who’s not kissing his ass or related to him.

Fine! Fuck it. He won. I guess that entitles him to say what he wants, but damn he oughta know that what he’s done is embolden millions of losers who don’t have his title or his sarcastic wit, but nevertheless are saying “well if he can call someone fat or stupid or ugly or small or whatever, then
I can do it to!”

Well he shouldn’t be doing and it and neither should you.

Man, it’s easy to criticize. Easy. You can fall into criticism like you fall into a soft bed. It’s low hanging fruit.

Now, before I re-adjust my halo, I have to point out that I am a world class crab and criticizer. Up until recently I criticized everyone I encountered that drove too slow, worked too inefficient, dressed like a teenage–when they aren’t, didn’t like the Buckeyes, ate Indian food, drank craft beer, went to a spin class, never read Bukowski, listened to Enya, used that stupid shit emoji, had a pair of crocs, talked about a podcast in the lunch room, shopped
at Whole Foods or tried to rap the songs from Hamilton–to impress a girl…

It was my worst quality.

Then I got called out on it by my friends when we were drinking and I was criticizing something–I think I was ripping on La La Land. They told me to shut up and that I was being a dick and that I should watch what I say.

At first I was pissed off, then defensive–I didn’t get it. Then one day I got it. How? I saw someone else really rip into a friend of mine about his mother. She likes to scrapbook. The guy who was doing the ripping basically said that scrapbooking was silly and stupid and only lonely dipshits scrap-booked. I’m watching this and normally I would have started ripping scrapbooking too, but suddenly, and with complete clarity, I saw myself–and I realized what I had become and what a jerk I sound like.

So I’m trying to be less critical. I hold my tongue. I think before I speak. And I try to be empathetic. And once a week I pick out a person who is pissing me off for some reason and I compliment them. I find something to say that highlights their best quality, not their worst; or I talk about what they’ve done right, not wrong.

And you know what? It’s okay.

TASK:

Get control of yourself. Stop criticizing. Then find the person that bugs the shit out of you. Find the reason. And find the compliment.

Photos by J Stimp and Courtesy of Joe Doe